And now a moment of sublime ignorance

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Knuckledraggers unite!

For too long this site has been held hostage by power metal weebs and fart-sniffing metal intellectuals. Well no more, I say! Today we’re rallying against the nerds that understand boring shit like “modes”, or “time signatures”, or “using anything other than the two heaviest guitar strings”. Today we’re getting straight ignorant with Pennsylvania’s Mercy Blow.

Mercy Blow play a style of downtempo hardcore that should please crowds as discriminating and diverse as beatdown aficionados to, uh, Slamcoke fans. Secondhand Suffering, the latest EP from Mercy Blow, is four tracks of relentlessly braindead mosh fodder and I love it. If you’ve ever felt an overpowering desire to spend ten minutes punching your fists through sheet rock, Secondhand Suffering might be the record for you.

More importantly though, “No Man’s Fool (feat. Charlie Gunishment)” might contain the most absurd pre-breakdown callout of all time. Do yourself a favor and navigate to 2:45 on this track and prepare to be blown away by the foolishness.

As a public service, I’ve attempted to transcribe it below.

MLVLCD Motherfucker. Sheffields of fuckin’ PennsylVAYYNiUHHHH.
OOooooooooh shit
YO WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, THIS IS GUNISHMENT.
-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-
You’re listening to Mercy Blow
Check check MLV still running’ shit worldwide motherfuckers
Malevolence! Desolated! Gunishment! Gibberish!
*breakdown*

God that’s good stuff. The ignorance levels are off the chart. Pick up Secondhand Suffering here and check out Mercy Blow the next time you’re in PennsylVAINYUHHH.

h/t Sweaty Nipple

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