7 Ways For Metalheads To Get Into The Christmas Spirit

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Let’s face it. It’s tough for us hard metallers to get in the Christmas spirit. The holiday cheer, the festive lights, the expensive tambourines, none of it clicks with us heavy rockin’ bad boys. So what are we rough-and-tumble ne’er-do-wells to do around this time of year? Wallow in our vile, putrescent filth with our bargain bin tambourines? Not this year! The Toilet ov Hell has a 7 step method guaranteed to turn your I-don’t-care-much-for-Christmas frown into an I-quite-care-much-for-Christmas frown! Let’s get started!

  1. Fun fact: if you rearrange the letters in ‘Santa,’ you get ‘Satna.’

Haha! That’s great! Metalheads everywhere should get a kick out of that one, because Satna could maybe make a good band name or something. Like, probably black metal. Just use a couple funny accent marks, get a bunch of off-brand-but-quality tambourines, and pretend you’re from Iceland! Thanks St. Nick!

  1. Tilt your star on your Christmas tree.61TxuSseY9L._SL1000_

This one is a bit of a stretch, but hang with me here. If you tilt the star to one side, it looks like that star is in the middle of a hard-rockin’ mosh dance! Then, put a perfectly fine, affordable tambourine around it to remember what the season is really about. Tambourines. You love the tambourines. You will spill blood for the tambourines.

  1. Remember the story of Santa’s ‘sleighers.

We all know the story. Santa uses his jolly spells to defeat the Snow Snake each Christmas Eve so he can deliver tambourines of all prices and qualities to the good children of the world. That’s why we chant “Ho ho ho, you snake of snow, melt right now and let me go!” as we writhe in ritualistic fury around a model of Santa’s sleigh. But the story rarely mentions the most metal part: Santa had help from his team of ‘sleighers,’ a group of four guys who got his sleigh ready to crash violently into every house in the world that night. Those four guys then went on to form the heavy rock band Mega Death!

  1. Remember Santa’s sacred treatise on tambourines.

Despite the corporate schemes telling us that only expensive name-brand tambourines are good, Santa was clear on the topic:

“All tambourines have a venerated place in Santa’s vision globes, so proudly make jangly joy with any of the most holy noise circles. Regardless of what that douchebag from the office Ted says, all my children can spew forth shaky, metallic praises. Seriously, that guy is a giant prick.”

  1. Replace words in classic Christmas stories with metal words.

This is fun for the whole metal family! Print out some classic Christmas songs or stories, replace some words with blanks, and get rockin’ with some serious Christmas fun!

IMG_0763

  • Dear Abby,

    I have but one question: where does Dave Ghrol fit into this?

    Plz Rspnd,

    GL

  • Dubs

    My family has long had a tradition of reenacting the defeat of the Snow Snake every Christmas Eve. Oh, what joy it is to be the snake, stripped down to nothing but your scaly purity and wriggling about in the virgin snow while being battered by your siblings’ tambourines!

  • Mentioning Krampus in every conversation.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    I feel the spirit!

    • Dubs

      Quit talkin’ ’bout your pipí.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Ho Ho Ho…

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          That’s some hot shit.

        • I have to hide this mother fucker everyday for my son to find. Tomorrow is the last day and I think I’m going to position Elf On The Shelf exactly like this.

          • RJA

            No Ron, you fell into that trap?!
            I’ve resisted since the first time my kids mentioned it and I couldn’t be happier. Of course if the little fucker would actually change my kids behavior I would go for it in a minute, but we know that’s not going to happen.

          • Yes, it does not work. I threaten him with less gifts and he laughs in my face while continuing to go about his business. He is Satan’s Spawn – The Caco Daemon.

          • RJA

            “He’s Satan’s spawn……we love him though”

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That’s what my parents probably think of me and my sister.

          • LOL!!!!!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            haha

        • CyberneticOrganism

          ☠ ⚔

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Send that spawn of Satan back to Hell where it belongs! The power of Christ repels you!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            “Umm, ‘compels’?”
            Don’t misquote The Exorcist. You’ll make “It” angry. I won’t be able to help you then…(RFI)

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I edited it.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m sorry. Demons tend to fly off the handle, and other things, rather easy. You don’t want to piss them off around the holidays.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m not pissing it off. Demons hate Christmas.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, demons love to party. It’s just that their idea of “fun” doesn’t jibe with ours, no need to hate. ^_^

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Krampus is comming for you!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Let him. I await his salvation.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            your sir refused to be ruled by fear….well done.

        • Guppusmaximus

          Elf on a pine cone shaped dildo? I guess everyone celebrates the holidays differently. 🙂

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            A very local tradition…

          • Guppusmaximus

            As in across the hall local? *smirk*

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Hue Hue Hue

  • more beer

    BEER!

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      MORE BEER! PLUS SOME MORE.

      • more beer

        Yep!

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        THEN EVEN MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          ALL THE BEER!!!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            All the beer and all the witches equals a good Christmas.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            All them things.

          • more beer

            I have been trying my whole life. But they just keep brewing more.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            The must’ve got your memo. More beer.

          • more beer

            Hahaha!

    • The holiday beer drinking commences this evening for me. The work day cannot end soon enough.

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        I gotta wait until tomorrow.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I may have to go in today for an hour. As I’ve said before, the office is just a 10 minute walk from my house. Intoxication will not matter, especially this week.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Haha!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m basically getting paid to show up and shoot the shit with a really cool guy who’s a friend of the school. He has to reup his Cisco cert soon and needs to know what to expect on the latest routing exam. We’ll gab about the exam and engage in small talk for an hour, I get paid for my time, and get to call it a “consult”. ^_^ That’s if I even end up going in.

          • more beer

            Easy money is good money.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            The best

          • more beer

            Yes Sir.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yup.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Right on man, nice and painless.

        • Hang in there buddy, the booze will flow soon enough.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I don’t drink.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m sure you still plan to have a good time this week nonetheless.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I do.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I started last night, no fucks.

        • Does anyone need a real reason to start drinking? Amirite??

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Exactly. Oh, it’s Monday July 13th. Lets fucking drink!

          • Real reasons are not required. Because you want to get tuned up is as good as any.

          • more beer

            Not ever!

          • i always did it to stop feeling feels

          • Waynecro

            Booze can be a magic elixir that transforms you into a wall of unfeeling stone. If you drink it wrong, it can turn you into a sap who just wants to hug all your bros and chain smoke while discussing your feels at length.

      • more beer

        It appears mine is starting early. The weather here isn’t conducive with me doing my job. So I shall be picking up my check. Then heading out to get much more beer.

        • More beer is not enough! You need much more!

          • more beer

            Yes it is that time of year that much more beer is a requirement.

      • Guppusmaximus

        I don’t drink anymore but I definitely share your sentiment about work. Holiday or not, work days are way too fucking long!!

        • They should be 4 hours tops. I could bang out all stuff in that amount of time. Corporate America are scum.

          • Guppusmaximus

            The up-vote button seems to be broken…it only worked once for me.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    I celebrate by getting drunk and receiving albums.

    • CyberneticOrganism
    • RJA

      Pretty much the same here – of course they’re all albums I’ve ordered.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I give my wife a list and she picks and chooses what to get me. I’m hoping for some Necrophobic this year.

        • RJA

          I’d say she’s a pretty solid wife for even agreeing to order all that satanic shit.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Yeah, she’s a keeper.

        • Lacertilian

          I do the same but with whisky and/or beer.
          Also give the list to all other potential gifters.
          Usually receive other things not on the list, either I’m a prick or everyone else is.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            It’s everyone else………………and you.

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

      got all of disturbeds albums for christmas not 1 song is a shitty song all dope as fuck

      -Ray Bachellier, 1 year ago

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Ray Bachellier IS David Draiman

  • CyberneticOrganism

    That mad libs is pure gold. I have been slain.

    Also this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEk74abfA5M

    • EsusMoose

      Hans knows whats up.

  • I give this list a 5/7.

    • i shall be polluting my body with the devil’s lettuce this holiday season!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Hell, I’m doing that right now.

        • more beer

          Me too!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            m/

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Kale?

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Collard greens.

        • no, that’s a made-up food-word, like quinoa

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

          • i wouldn’t pay to have a lentil on me

          • *dead*

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Damn it. You beat me to my joke…

            Good job.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Gotcha, like gluten.

      • Nuthin’ like some devil’s lettuce to get you into the holiday spirit.

  • RJA

    I missed the first reference to Ted so the end of the mad libs was quite bizarre to me.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Is this the Festivus thread yet?

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Yes. Is it time for the Airing of Greivances?

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        That’s why I’m asking.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I guess it is.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          GORAK READY FOR FEAT OV STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!! SMAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Something like that will probably be the last thread of the day.

        • This is the last post of the day. It’ll be one post a day til January.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Cool, figured as such.

  • Guppusmaximus
  • Eliza

    “Mega Death” I virtually died.

    • only virtual death is real

      • Eliza

        It means that I’m really dead. Oh well…

        • QEPD in peace, Eliza…

          • Eliza

            Thanks, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be alive again by tomorrow, all I need to do is a couple of deals.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Everyone makes that “only something is real” joke, but do you know where that came from? Not calling you out, just asking.

        • from gangnam style maybe?

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Wow. Ok, never mind.

          • just attempting humor. i have no idea, i heard it from @zackmuenz:disqus and try to use it when most inappropriate

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Only inappropriateness is real.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Only trendy catchphrases are real.

            And no, I have no idea why people started saying that. As Data might say, I do not know the entomology of that idiom.

          • I heards it from someone else, so the chain continues.

        • Waynecro

          Where’d it come from? I don’t see its origins in various online meme repositories.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I do like that Black Sabbath song…

        • God Is Dead?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No, Virtual Death.

          • more beer

            No just dead.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I don’t get it.

          • more beer

            There is no virtual death. There is only death!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I should have guessed.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          TONY MARTIN ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            He is very underrated

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

      A7x is the best thrash metal band ever, possibly the greatest metal band of all time! I think they’re way better than that crappy old school stuff like Testiment or Megadeath or whatever

      -jp, 9 months ago

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        A7XFan plz! Testament is great!

      • Eliza

        Good for them.

  • Dubs

    Link, like a true Venezuelan malandro, just hits the Snow Snake with a hammer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDMQdkh3lqQ

    • Guppusmaximus

      That game looks pretty cool…Which Nintendo system is it?

      • Dubs

        3DS. It’s quite difficult to play single-player.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Top 3 black metal albums of all time
    go

    • RJA

      That is a very hard question for me to ponder/answer.
      In the Nightside Eclipse in the top 3 for me for sure though.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Shit I was playing the main trem riff to I am the Blazk Wizards as you typed that. I agree.

      • RJA

        Dissection – Storm of the Light’s Bane would probably be there also. I just need one more then.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        In the Nightside Eclipse
        Transilvanian Hunger (dumb elitist loves darkthrone yeah whatever)
        Secrets of the Black Arts

        • RJA

          you could go with the unholy trinity as your top 3 and get no arguments from me.

    • top 3 (from a pleb):
      3. MardukWormwood
      2. 1349Demonoir
      1. Deathspell OmegaParacletus

      • RJA

        I just got Paracletus on vinyl finally and I’m quite excited.

        • i can imagine that being swell… especially if combined with a drug of one’s choice!

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I might even add in an Akercocke album just to mess with people.

    • Dubs

      1-3: MetallicaThe Black Album

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I believe I specified that they had to be *metal* albums.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Dave Vincent’s BURN

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            You know it

        • Dubs

          LOL

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      DFHVN – Roads To Judea
      Venom – At War With Santa
      Dark FunForReal – Vo Cis Scum Santanas.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Gorgoroth- Incipit Santa

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Vobiscum is the tits

  • I meant to put up a post, but I just drank instead. The regular schedule is over. We’re just gonna run one post a day til the New Year (unless I get inspired or something). Happy winter solstice.

    • Eliza

      Happy holidays to you, too! 🙂

      • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

        How do you say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in Romanian?

        • Eliza

          Craciun Fericit! (Merry Christmas!)
          An nou fericit! (Happy new year!)

          • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

            Gleðileg jól og farsælt komandi ár 🙂

          • Eliza

            Multumesc! (Thank you!)

    • Guppusmaximus

      Happy Ripped-Off Pagan Ritual Holidays m/ m/

    • Dagon

      That’s only 1 reminder a day I need to write shit. Very good.

    • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

      Happy holidays and a safe, happy and prosperous new year, good sir!

    • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

      PS, posting my Symplus-E interview would tickle my Christmas tendies. 😉

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I’m already in the Christmas spirit. I have a Christmas party tonight and I got my shopping done. Life is good

    • Guppusmaximus

      I’m in the Happy-my-wife-realizes-I’m-poor-and-that-our-5-month-old-baby-boy-is-the-best-present-she-ever-got spirit! Yes, life is good 🙂

      • dang dude, congrats on the baby! sorry if you mentioned him earlier and i missed it

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        I already bought Mom a new TV back in October and said “Christmas is now, enjoy!”. She was good with that.

        • Guppusmaximus

          ^^This.^^

          I am of the mindset that purchasing gifts when they are needed is better than making people wait for some holiday / birthday because as far as I’m concerned who knows if you’ll have the funds available even if you save for it. Shit happens. Plus, not to be a downer, but you can’t say with 100% certainty that you’ll be around for the holidays.

          I’ll down-vote myself for such a horrible thought but I can’t help it after hitting 40…

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, it makes perfect sense. The reason I did it then is because the one I bought her 5 years ago croaked and I had the means to buy her a new one immediately. As you said, why wait?

          • Guppusmaximus

            And no ones mother should be without a TV for any period of time unless you want them to spend an unwarranted & ridiculous amount of time with you…just kidding.

            Hell, I bought my recent TV last year the Friday before Black Friday @ BJs (55inch Vizio e550i-b2) for $599 and I couldn’t find a better deal till this Black Friday and it was the same price but for a 4K model. So, yea with all the deals popping up all the time nowadays it almost seems silly to wait. Seriously, all I saw this year seemed to be deals on the shit no one wanted.

        • The wife and I bought ourselves a dehydrator so we could make dried fruit and stuff. I hope she’s not expecting anything for Xmas because I really didnt get anything. #LazyAsFuck

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I think you meant beef jerky

          • I eat meat like 2 or 3 times a week, but I’ll probably get a little sloppy with during upcoming Festivus.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I think you meant per day

  • Fucking Ted

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Fuck Ted with a giant cactus.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Since it is Festivus I have a grievance to air. To anyone who cheats on someone who cares about them you don’t deserve happiness. You screwed over someone who cared about you and that’s the worst crime: to take someone’s love and abuse it.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      The girl I went to prom with went to get a spare glass and didn’t come back. Apparently she fucked a football player.

      #DVPfacts

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Fuck her. She doesn’t deserve happiness.

        • It’s possible that someone can make a mistake in high school and still deserve to be a happy person.

          • Yea man in high school I thought that Drowning Pool was an amazing band. I have seen the error of my ways though and still deserve to be happy………….

          • EsusMoose

            Uh that could be a forever sin

          • oh..

          • EsusMoose

            Just ask Joe for his bottle of acid and that’ll probably cleanse you or at least burn badly enough to pretend it cleansed you.

          • My throat is REALLY sore from all this acid spitting.

          • DoYouThinkHeSaurus
          • Count_Breznak

            Try PPIs

          • See here’s the thing with that. If i get a bottle of acid spilled on my face its gonna make a lot of things harder for me including drinking mountain dew at work on christmas i mean how can i possibly drink mountain dew at work on christmas if i get a bottle of acid spilled on my face but then again if i get a bottle of acid spilled on my face maybe i can just call in sick or maybe i can just calll in dead and then i wont have to drink mountain dew at work on christmas because i wont have to work on christmas because i had a bottle of acid spilled on my face thus making me unable to drink mountain dew at work on christmas

          • EsusMoose

            I can’t tell if you’re excited to drink mountain dew while at work on Christmas or not excited to drink the nectar of the gods mountain dew while working on Christmas but then again fuck this is hard I’m giving up.

          • yes

          • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop
          • I wanted to get nautical star tattoos when I was in high school. Children are stupid.

          • haaaahahahhahahahahahaaahhahaha, sorry that is too funny

          • more beer

            Nautical stars are one of the worst tattoo’s ever.

          • Dagon

            I have a friend who got a nautical star at 20 something.

            He is the victim of much bullying till this day.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I have two star tattoos, not nautical stars tho

          • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

            At least you didn’t get face tats. Nothing says “I’m great at making bad life choices” quite like a face tat.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            GORAK SAW DROWNING POOL WITH COAL CHAMBER & ILL NINO!!!!!! AT TIME ME ENJOY ALL 3 BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            You should press charges at whoever unleashed that line up.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            THESE THE GUYS!!!!!!! GORAK GET SMAAAAAASHED!!!!!!!
            http://www.goout365.com/media/JAGER-chilled.jpg

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Me prefer

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            WILL HAVE TO TRY!!!!!!!! ON THE ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Add a shot of mezcal on the side.

            Proceed to get fucked up.

          • Óðinn

            I don’t drink as much as I used to, especially the hard stuff. I mostly stick to beer now. But I do enjoy tequila when I go out for Mexican food.

            http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ec/14/d8/ec14d80760fd84a91ff94f918cc10ebb.jpg

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’ve been dialing down on the booze myself as well. A few years back I used to be into bodybuilding. I did have some talent for that sport, but after some happenings I stopped actively practicing it. Since then I’ve just been working out less fanatically and began to drink some more alcohol again. Now I’m trying to take the golden middle road. A life completely devoid of alcohol sucks.
            Do you know this stuff? I know a couple of Turks and Albanians over here. They drink it all the time.

          • Óðinn

            I’ve heard of Raki. Never tried it though.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            If you know what Ouzo or Sambuca tastes like, not really all that much of a flavor difference.

          • more beer

            Good choice there.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I have a Jager bottle opener in my wallet.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That’s a lineup except for Ill Nino.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, I had great taste even back then. ^_^

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Thats because you grew up at THE time for music.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Lucky old man, at least in that sense.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I liked Emmure in high school. I hated myself because of that for a year or twom

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Don’t even get me started on middle aged people who look at high school as the best days of their lives, for real. I have to hear this shit from one person in particular all the fucking time.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            PERFECT. Fucking nailed it.

          • It must suck to peak in life before you even become an adult.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            In many ways, it’s not his fault but the basic underlying circumstances are. He had a good thing going in the 90s: steady work, nice car, always partying and having fun with us, never talking about this high school shit then he got this bug up his ass about “growing up”, he got married, and his life has gone to near shit since. We all told him not to do it.

            I may get some flak from the marrieds here. Remember, I’m not talking about you.

          • RJA

            I love your phrasing there “the marrieds”.!
            Watch out for the marrieds, they will try and bring you to their side!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            They’ll get ya, and then it will all be over.
            My ex wanted to get married. O_O

          • Marriage is not for everyone. I’ve got nothing against people who don’t tie the knot. More power to them.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            IM STILL PEAKING BRO

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            WHOO

          • MY WHOLE LIFE IS ONE BIG PEAK, BRUH.
            *brofists*

          • Dagon

            My love life peaked too soon.

            My cholesterol is about to peak though.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Fortunately mine is down to about 210 from 235.

          • Waynecro

            Awesome work, man! Whenever I have a blood test, I have to drop my cholesterol to about 70 to prevent the doctors from trying to feed me statins.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It used to be 195, but then I ended up in a long term relationship and it shot way up. I’m not saying that correlation equals causation, it’s just a coincidence. ^_^

          • Waynecro

            Women increase cholesterol. True science fact.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I started taking Pravastatin in 2011. I’m still prescribed it, but I can go without and it doesn’t matter now.

          • Waynecro

            As long as I can change my cholesterol levels by altering my diet, I don’t want to take medication. I’m stubborn about that kind of thing.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Im still a loser, no worries!

          • I fucking hated high school. I went to high school with a bunch of rich pricks who got porsches and audis and what not the second they got their fucking drivers license while i still took the damn bus. All because they changed the district borders at the last second and all my friends went to a different school. I AM STILL SALTY AS FUCK ABOUT THIS TEN YEARS LATER

          • COAL ROLL

            bro

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            At my old HS, some coked-out guido townie would’ve walked up to that rich prick and said “Give me the keys to your fuckin’ Audi because it’s mine now.” and then it would’ve got traded for cocaine in the Mystic Projects.

          • Mystic Projects sounds like a Fallout 4 location

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            The Tim Robbins/Sean Penn movie ‘Mystic River’? That’s where the Mystic Projects get their name from because they’re near the Mystic Valley Parkway.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Here’s a Boston Globe news story from 1987 that shows what I mean.

            https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-8040024.html

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I liked high school but it wasn’t perfect.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Hated it until I transferred to the Alternative HS.

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Precisely.

          • high school, the mere concept of it is fucked to begin with: put a bunch of pubescent kids with raging hormones in the same building, offering them free samples of drugs, and taping the whole thing

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            frosts my nads just hearing the story

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Better than nuts roasting on an open fire, amirite?

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            or two nuts on your chest?

          • Abe-y Metal

            I got expelled from high school. #toiletconfessions

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I get what your saying. I have no sympathy for cheaters though.

          • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

            Lol, I’m proof! (expelled and moved out at 18)

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      It looks as if this may be the only thread today so I guess this will be the Festivus thread.

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      IVE DONE IT BEFORE, IM A BASTARD

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Oh JJD, if you only knew…

      *buried memories begin creeping back into the mind*

      *chugs Jim Beam bourbon whiskey straight from the bottle for several huge gulps*

      *chases bourbon with several additional gulps of straight bourbon*

      *repeats process until dumb feels/memories are purged from the mind and buried once more*

      *makes a mental-note to get more whiskey tomorrow*

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Just, just let it out man. It’s gonna be okay.

      • more beer

        Stunt Drinking! I approve.

    • Statistically, at the VERY LEAST half of the people on Earth have cheated at least once. So either people are shit or cheating is not that bad. (Or, y’know, both.) Hmm…

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        People are shit.

    • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

      It happens. Move on. People like that tend to get a nice little visit from karma down the line. Remember, the world is a perception of mind, and you what you project towards others is a reflection of yourself, and tends to come back to you.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    LET ME BE OFF WORK ALREADY JESUS FUCK

    I GOT A BOTTLE OF ABSINTHE, WEED, AND RECORDS TO BLAST

    • EsusMoose

      Absinthe tastes like febreeze. Granted I drank it out of a friend’s water bottle. And have no idea the quality of it. So it could be good, but I remember feeling like I just tried to inhale an air freshener.

    • Waynecro

      I got to try absinthe once before I quit drinking, and I thought it was awesome.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        Ive never had it before and im an alcoholic.

        #cheers

        • Waynecro

          I hope you enjoy it. If nothing else, you have some delicious sugar cubes to eat. POSTWORKOUT CARBS, BRO!!!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Im sure i will. And its like 115 proof. So, not gonna have to drink the whole bottle to get schwifty

          • Waynecro

            High alcohol content is the best.

          • more beer

            Those are words to live by.

          • Waynecro

            Indeed. Until you no longer can.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT

        • Lacertilian

          Something you might try once or twice and probably never again.
          The only people who seem to get all crazy about it are those who haven’t taken hallucinogens and claim that Absinthe made them ‘trip’.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I didnt think it actually was supposed to make you trip. That tripping was a result of opium, impurities, or other shit in liqour

          • Lacertilian

            “oh, you want to trip?”
            *holds out hand*
            “Eat this”

      • CyberneticOrganism

        I hated it. Tastes like a combination of black licorice and wood polish.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Yummy!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            You’re a bear. You can only taste meat and fear.

          • and hugs

        • Waynecro

          Black licorice and wood polish are both fine consumables.

          • more beer

            Otherwise known as Sambuca.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Absinthe + weed is a volatile combination. A friend of mine once got out of his hotel room in Spain in the middle of the night and randomly started slashing tires under the influence of that shit.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        Lightweight

      • more beer

        Good to see you here and not that other blog.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Thanks man. First time I drop by on here. The general ambiance seems to be way different (and better) here.

          • more beer

            Yea you Conan and a couple of other people there. I even talk to without ending up being a dick. Everyone here for the most part started there. The community here is much better. Music is spoken in these parts. Not that TMZ shit like over there.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah there still are a couple of good guys over there. Conan, Sadistik, GGAllin (he had a name change to “PresidentGuyWhiteyCorngood” though), Smitty, the cavemen, Criado, Hoss (even though he doesn’t post that often)…I always got along with (I’m probably leaving out a couple of people). Of course you don’t always share the exact same opinion on some bands, but at least you can talk to them in good fun. A lot of commenters on there take themselves and their opinions way too seriously. They’re all up in arms whenever someone makes a post they feel is offensive to them. Even if making said post was just meant to have some fun.

          • more beer

            I didn’t know that was GG Allins new name I like that guy. But yea those guys are all cool. There are a lot of kids there. You know the kind who have to go to their safe room because they were offended. I don’t share the same opinions on bands as my actual friends a lot times. Why would there be any different. But at least I can tell my friends to go fuck themselves. Without reducing them to tears.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Exactly. The crybabiness over there has gone through the roof.
            I don’t mind when for instance a band I like gets trolled, because some commenters (including the ones I just named) can be extremely amusing while doing so.
            And whenever an article or even a comment even slightly (and undeliberately) hints at a political topic, you’ll have a disastrous political discussion in no time. But the less said about that, the better.

          • more beer

            Most of it is all in fun. People seem to have forgotten what that is. I was doing this metal shit 10 or 15 years before a lot of the kids there were born. I’ve forgotten more about metal then they know yet. Plus I probably go to more shows, and support the scene more than most of them, to this day. I like the political ones because I fuck with people. No matter what they have to say about things changing . Nothing is ever going to change. The world has always been a fucked up place. It is never gonna change.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            That’s what a lot of people don’t understand. A lot of them are so occupied in pushing their agenda that they have forgotten to just enjoy themselves.

          • more beer

            Especially the younger ones. When I was young my agenda was in no particular order. Beer, Metal, Weed and Pussy. It still kind of is. I just have more responsibilities. I’m not giving up fun until I’m dead.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            And that’s how it should be.

          • more beer

            Of course that’s how it should be. You get one shot at life. Enjoy it.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            GORAK DO MANY SHOTS!!!!!! NOT JUST ONE!!!!!

          • more beer

            Gorak has been doing the life thing for long time. He knows what to do!

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            ALL GOOD HOLIDAY HAVE DRINKING & FIGHTING!!!!!!!

            http://deutsch.romeko.de/images/30303bilder.jpg

          • more beer

            Here a theme song for you. Even if you are drinking Mexican.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5KqEQvgYyk

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            ME BEEN KNOWN TO RANDOMLY PUT ON JUKEBOX!!!!!

          • more beer

            More beer too.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Let’s toast to that. After which I can have an imaginative piss on the internet whiners.

          • more beer

            Hahaha! Cheers my friend!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Cheers to you! And to every other non-crybaby!

          • more beer

            Fuck yes.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            More beer, please allow me to say, you’re my hero.
            And i like this King fellow too.

          • more beer

            I am laughing again. Yes Mr king of New York is a good dude.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            My work here is done.

            While I did start off at the website-we-will-not-name, I didn’t really look at the comments too much. I didnt start until I got here so I dont know too many of the people over there.

          • more beer

            There are a few good people there who won’t switch over for whatever reasons. The rest can go fuck themselves. Trolls and SJW’s.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I’m surprised Conan isn’t over here.

          • more beer

            He was but he got mad. When JJD got banned for a while. He went on a tirade and left. He pops up every once in a great while.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Ah, okay. How did JJD get banned?

          • more beer

            I was at work and didn’t see what was said only the this comment has been deleted. But they let him back and Conan did not return.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Oh, okay.

  • RJA

    dark descent is having a sale. looks like 20% off of most stuff. top notch.

  • Dagon

    I have done it. Blood was spilt and my tambourine has been baptized in it. This shall be the merriest metalest of Christmas.

    http://www.robertafabiano.com/portfolio/mixed_media/images/rbf50.jpg

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    This post, this post is dumb and pointless.
    You are dumb and pointless.
    And your calculus is fucking dumb and pointless.
    Don’t ever change <3

  • This is a fucking masterpiece. I wept.

  • Waynecro

    This list was so fucking metal that my wiener turned to stone and crushed my nads.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Checking out Doom Charts Best Of 2015

    http://doomcharts.com/

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Are you the purveyor of this website KJ?

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        No I am not, otherwise that top 10 would look much different. I would also be hawking it a lot.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          Huh, but as a whole im at least 60% unaware of those top 50

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Same here really. A lot of them I listened to a song or two and then gave up. Two of my favorite bands from this year(Knife Ritual, Witchhelm) aren’t listed at all.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            And monolord and clutch sitting off the top 10

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Insanity.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Pure insanity. There are some definite problems with that list

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            No Knife Ritual or Witchhelm, also Ufomammut, Clutch, Monolord, and Dopethrone were way too far down with respect to the other albums. ‘Ecate’ should’ve been top 5.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Add High on Fire to that list as well. Top 10 at least, if not top 5.

          • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer

            You and my friend Steve are my go to guys for all things doom If you say their list is whack. It’s whack.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            NO SWORD!?!?!?!

  • Abe-y Metal

    3 weeks ago on the Sympulse-E interview. Not a reply from TOH when I emailed them. 🙁

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
    • i have this ornament! on my charlie brown christmas tree, that’s the most holiday spirit i’m willing to have

      • Waynecro

        Dude, I have that little Charlie Brown Christmas tree too. My ex is a big Peanuts fan, and I bought it to brighten up our first Christmas together in my tiny apartment years ago. I’m not putting it up this year. I think our dog wants to kill it anyway.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          We still are using the black christmas tree from last year

          Except, im even a huge f@g and popped popcorn and strung it up. Its p christmassy over here dawgs

          • Waynecro

            That’s pretty cool, man. I like popcorn. I get to eat some once a week, and I totally look forward to it all week.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Im a moderate fan

          • Waynecro

            I’ve never tried hanging it on foliage, but I always liked getting holiday tins of it.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Popcorns a slut

          • Waynecro

            Ideally, a “cheese”-powder-coated slut.

          • more beer

            Not here. But I can see pine trees out the back window.

      • Óðinn

        You’ve struck a perfect balance Jimmy.

      • more beer

        I hope it is the only ornament on the tree.

        • You know it! (No fucks given about the mess in the background…)

          • more beer

            And no fucks should be given.

    • Abe-y Metal

      LMAO!!!!!

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Its just now occurred to me. If anybody out there wants to get me a Doctor Who themed present, I can now argue that a Gibson SG would be appropriate.

    • That ending made my eyes do that thing where they leak moisture until I cast said moisture to the void.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        But now Clara and ‘Me’ are having adventures in suspended time. You know she’s gonna be back.

        But yeah, fuck Rassilon. Once the ultimate Time Lord, now he’s a homeless bum.

        • i got through series 1 whilst having the stomach bug years ago. is it worth catching up? there are SO many episodes

          • Yes

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yes. Matt Smith & Peter Capaldi are great.

          • You don’t like david tennant?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I like him just fine, but the others are better.

          • It was really odd seeing him play an evil sociopath type character in Jessica jones. Also Matt smith is my least favorite of the doctors that lasted more than a season.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I think he was much better than Tennant at being old, eccentric, and angry. However, Capaldi is weeding out the posers. He is trve old skool Doctor Who.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      Gibson SGs are appropriate for any theme.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        Theyre ok, not as much access to the upper registers for me.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          What do you normally play with?

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I play jacksons mostly, ibanezes back in the day

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Ah, very nice. I would very much like to have Jackson V.

            Like this. Except more black.
            http://www.rhoadsflyingv.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/jackson-rhoads-v.jpg

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Ive never owned a v, id like to. Most the RR models are p nice

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Neither have I. So are you more of a dinky/soloist player?

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Yeah i favor that body style. And i prefer the wide/thin necks that jacksons and ibanezes share

          • more beer

            Thin necks just like the chicks you kidnap. So it is easy to choke them out.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            And throw them

          • more beer

            That too.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            They are nice to play on, thats for sure.

          • Óðinn
          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            And one of those too. I want an SG so bad.

          • Óðinn

            If you’re on a budget, and don’t mind a SG copy, Vintage Reissued makes some decent quality copies of popular guitar brands.

            http://www.jhs.co.uk/vintageelectric.html

            http://www.jhs.co.uk/vintageelectric/VS6B.jpg

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Hell, I’m fine with an epiphone.
            i hadn’t heard of those before, will look into it.

          • Óðinn
          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            What do you play?

          • Óðinn

            An old Gretsch Beast. I’m into ugly guitars these days. It sounds good though. Been contemplating my own SG purchase lately, ’cause you know, Iommi.

            I used to have a Lado Venus, which sadly got wrecked in an accident. Friend got drunk and stumbled over the neck. It was neck-through, so that was the end of it.

            http://www.lashingguitars.com/photos/lado02.jpg

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I love the old quirky guitars with shapes that dont quite make sense and knobs that dont seem to really do anything, they’re a lot of fun. That Gretsch looks awesome.

            Sorry to hear about the Lado Venus.

            Hail Iommi!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I will probably never be able to afford 3 grand for a guitar. I’ll settle for maybe someday owning a Gibson Voodoo SG which goes on Ebay for about $1200.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Since I replaced the jack and restringed it, my Epi SG is happy once again. I’ll check out those Vintage too, since I’m just thumb twiddlin’.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Good to hear the SG is happy!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            When the SG is happy, the Orange is happy, then I’m happy.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            And DOOM in a backwards kind of twisted way is happy. But not really.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Stoner Doom is pretty happy a lot of the time.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Yeah, I guess it is, too busy talking about cars and space and space cars to be unhappy. And that’s why it is so awesome.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Horror movies, sick riffs, sounds like happiness to me!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Put a smile on your grim face with the power of DOOM!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I would play the shit out of this.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          There’s a reason you see lotsa SGs and Orange amps paired together, tube sounding fuzzzz.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
            OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
            OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

      • Count_Breznak

        Guile theme. Go.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          You can play it on an SG.

    • Óðinn
    • Óðinn
      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Posted this on Twitter last week.

    • Óðinn
    • Óðinn
    • Óðinn
    • Óðinn
    • Lacertilian

      I have never watched Doctor Who but one of my cousins loves that shit.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        I’ve been a fan since the late 70s when it was only available on Public Television in The US.

  • Maik Beninton™

    I just went through a 8 hour trip to spend Christmas with my grandparents. I will be viewing on my phone till Monday. Merry Christmas everyone.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus

    • tell your grandparents i love them!

      • Maik Beninton™

        ‘Vovó esse detetive falou que te ama’.

    • Abe-y Metal

      Boas Festas, amigo!

      • Maik Beninton™

        Valeu.

  • Abe-y Metal

    Since it’s probably not getting posted, here’s my interview with Symplus-E. Enjoy!

    A little pinch of melodic death metal, a pinch of electro-industrial,
    and even more awesome metal from one of Russia’s undiscovered treasures
    here in, well, pretty much anywhere outside of Russia! Sympuls-E took a
    little time to sit down with your Supreme Leader and give us a heads up
    on them, a little history on one of Russia’s oldest towns, and the
    future of the band. Enjoy!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaQZJ68Ct6A

    1). Hello from America! For those who aren’t familiar with your
    music, tell us a little bit about the history of the band and your
    influences.

    Sympuls-E:

    Our band was formed in 2008 and had
    the name “Scythe’s Blow”. The founders are Dmitry Kokarev (Guitars,
    Clean Vox) and Aleksandr Milekhin (Bass). In 2008, has been recorded
    demo album “Zerkalo Goroda” (“Mirror City”). In 2012, we recorded a
    full-length album “Destroying The Barriers”, after which Diana Novikova –
    the vocalist, has left the band and Christina Kolesikhina took
    her place. In 2013, we released two Internet singles: “Na Start” and
    “Generate Reincarnation”. In 2014 global changes in the band have began.
    And now the only one original member of the band is Dmitry Kokarev. In
    May 2015 our first album with English lyrics “Solarstorm” was released.
    The sources of inspiration for us is basically a Melodic Death Metal and
    a lot of other genres of metal. Particularly we can emphasize such
    bands as Mors Principium Est, Wintersun, Omnium Gatherum, Children of
    Bodom, Sybreed, Born of Osiris, Scar Symmetry, Protest the Hero and a
    host of others! Oh, and, of course, different soundtracks! 🙂

    (2). And where is Rayazan? I’ve honestly never heard of that area of Russia. And what is it like there?

    Sympuls-E:
    Ryazan is located about 180 km to south-east of Moscow. Ryazan is
    included in the 30 largest cities of Russia. But it doesn’t differ from
    the other cities except that the roads are very bad and gangsters are
    very evil. Haha! By the way, our city has recently celebrated 920 years!

    (3). What is the metal scene like there?

    Sympuls-E:
    It is a hard time for metal scene in our city. Previously, there were a
    lot of good bands and metalheads, but every year they become less. At
    the moment, our town has some good metal bands. Musicians communicate
    with each other and often wander from band to band.

    (4). I took a
    quick look through Wikipedia about the city, and it’s one of the
    electronic capitals of Russia! Does this fit into the mood and the feel
    of the band,
    with the electronic feel to the music? It definitely seems like a unique place.

    Sympuls-E: Of course, the environment influence on our work, but still more it is our personal emotions and experiences!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luJbmBYo39s

    (5). I would have to wonder how you construct songs, considering the
    way it’s done. Do you already have the lyrics and concepts put together,
    then do the music? And
    does it start with lyrics/vocals first, the guitars second, drums and bass third, or some other way?

    Sympuls-E:
    Hard to say. Well, basically, there is some melody in our minds, and it
    is an element of inspiration, then it accretes with different riffs and
    arrangements & everything can be changed. It is hard to organize
    this process, some of the tracks are written in a few years, some for a
    few days, it all depends on what events are taking place around us.

    (6). Any plans to tour America? I know things fell apart between the
    governments of Russia and America, which makes things more
    difficult….. Thankfully got to see Arkona
    a few years ago! Hopefully there would be a tour here with you, Arkona and perhaps even Aria!

    Sympuls-E:
    We’d like to visit you! But one desire here is not enough, we need a
    lot of money, and a good promotion and the label, and we have with this
    is that some of the difficulties.

    (7). What are the future plans for the band?

    Sympuls-E:
    Now we are recording a new single, which will include a new track and a
    cover of a very famous song, and we will re-record our old song in
    English 🙂
    (8). And here’s where I put the chef’s hat on you. Any good local recipes you and your manager would like to share?

    Sympuls-E: In Russia we call it “Yorsh” (or “Ruffe” in English). One part of vodka two parts of beer. It’s cheap & evil! 😀

    (9). Anything else you’d like to share before you go? Thanks again, and an honor to interview you!

    Sympuls-E:
    We would like to wish to everyone to ignore all political prejudices
    and stereotypes, and to listen good music. Thanks to everyone who
    supports and listens Sympuls-E! We hope to see you at our live shows.

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SympulsE.Official/?fref=ts

    Bandcamp::https://sympulse.bandcamp.com/https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjyw9-7-b7JAhUKPiYKHcfBAQkQFggcMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fsympulse.bandcamp.com%2F&usg=AFQjCNHGcIBAyfSm6Y1b_M6Ul2Of87abXw&sig2=P1evpNZK5PyICBNg4DzLyw&bvm=bv.108538919,d.eWE

  • Abe-y Metal

    This is gonna be the first Christmas without my grandma. I still miss her so much.Yes, that’s little me in the middle. :-p

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I’m sorry. My Grandma died when I was very young(age 6) so I only have hazy memories of her.

      • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

        Mine died January 28th of this year (dementia on top of starving herself to death over at least a year’s time), but I’m missing just hearing hearing her call me for Christmas. It hit me hard, but at least her suffering is over. I say this in the kindest way possible: it would’ve been so much worse if she lived. Fuck dementia!

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Depressing but true. Mine passed from an aneurysm.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      I feel you. My grandma died quite a while ago just before christmas.

  • Óðinn
  • Count_Breznak

    Have some shitty Tom Angelripper Julemess song
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64MgrBxNARE

  • Óðinn
  • more beer

    I have made preparations. I have a 6 pack of each of these. Except the bomber a half oz. of Afwreck pictured. Tomorrow I shall go pick up a couple of beers I couldn’t .find. Then I shall spend the next few days drunk starting now!

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      mouth watering. shaking uncontrollably. must. drink. beer.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      What is the red label bottle?

      • more beer

        Ska Brewing s Steel Toe Stout. I highly recommend this one.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          I have had Ska’s Modus Hoperandi, haven’t tried anymore. Not that i dont want to, just haven’t got around to it yet. I do enjoy stouts, I’ll keep an eye out.

          My local beer store didnt have Java Stout in stock. pissed me the hell off.

          • more beer

            Those Hoperandi’s are very good. I like the Ska beers. You can not go wrong with a working class milk stout, with a battered pair of steel toed combat boots, on the label. Pair with some Oi!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtZkY8vBGjg

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Haha! Yeah! You had me sold when you said the name was Steel Toe Stout. That is something i cannot pass up.

          • more beer

            It is a must have for your bottle collection.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Most definitely.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            OI OI

          • more beer

            Oi!Oi!Oi!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross
          • more beer

            I’m actually listening to the Business. Good solid Oi!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Right on!
            Oi!

          • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer
          • Abe-y Metal

            Oh, before I forget, this was in the news today. Won’t be seeing this on Fox!

            http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-35151967

          • more beer

            I won’t be seeing anything on Fox news anyway.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Good 😉

          • more beer
          • Abe-y Metal

            Classic!

          • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer

            A bunch of pictures in there from This is England. If you haven’t seen that you should.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Didn’t know that, but remind me to check it out! Checking out, and you’ll laugh…….. the new King 810. :-p

          • more beer

            There is no accounting for taste.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            He’s a weeb, but he’s OUR weeb. We deal with his eccentric tastes because we care. ^_^

          • more beer

            He’s my buddy. He is tough he can take it.

          • Honkey’s Xmas On The Top Bunk

            Haha, I always try to keep it classy. As far as films, I have my faves as far as dumb comedy, then I have my faves for foreign dramas.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ymg5n0yIvVY

          • more beer

            That is questionable. To say the least.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            My Oi skinhead friend from Crewe loves this movie. He’s a few years older than us, and loves Angelic Upstarts and Sham 69.

          • more beer

            It is really good movie. Does he know they continued the story on with a TV series? It really more deals with people growing up rather than being skinheads. They brought back the whole cast from the movie. It is really very good.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m sure he does. I don’t talk to him as much these days, only about once a year or so. He’s pretty geeky when it comes to his Oi, especially being an English skinhead.

          • more beer

            I had an English punk girl, I was friends with. Until she went home. She was a cutie and liked some damn good music. But I found the TV show by mistake. I was impressed that everyone who was in the movie came back for it.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      1/4 of Sour OG since yesterday and, once my guy gets to Somerville, at least an 1/8 of Girl Scout Cookies.

      • more beer

        Nice. This Afwreck is some pretty bud. Totally has that couch lock effect.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          My friend’s had that a couple times. He has 2-3 strains at a time and they change week to week.

          • more beer

            I am in pot head heaven here. I have a couple other strains too. Also 1.5 ounces of shake that I’m going to make butter and then cookies with.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Hot damn…

          • more beer

            I have a few hit’s of liquid too If the urge hits me. I hate the holidays. So I stay fucked up to make it bearable.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Haven’t had that since 2007.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            This colombian gold is a little airy for my tastes

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Haven’t had Colombian Gold since the early 80s.

          • more beer

            It was gold because of the drying and curing process. Because they just left it out in the sun.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            This def has a “gold” tinge, but im betting it wasnt cured as such

          • more beer

            No it is some sort of hybrid to get that color. That old school gold doesn’t exist anymore.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Its still p dank, either way. Id rather they call it that than “dumptruck” or some shit like that

          • more beer

            I don’t give a fuck what they call it as long as it is dank!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Amen

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Because, as you said, it’s grown differently now.

          • more beer

            It is much more of a science now. More in line with commercial agriculture.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It started getting that way in the 80s with advancements in hydroponics.Remember the Phototron?

          • more beer

            Yea and if I’m not mistaken that was all florescent bulbs and mirrors.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Pretty much. People did grow decent weed with it though.

          • more beer

            You can grow decent weed with florescent bulbs. It just doesn’t get as dense as it would. With a high pressure sodium and metal halide combination.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I barely remember it. I was about 16 at the time.

          • more beer

            I learned about the reason later in life about the color.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It looked a lot like wheat.

          • more beer

            Yes it did.

          • more beer

            My brothers a hippy with an awesome connection. Same guy same quality for like 20 years.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Same here pretty much, hippies from MIT and Dead Tour.

          • more beer

            But they only live 20 minutes away from each other. It is very convenient.

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      I got some local Nantahala Brewing Co Bryson City Brown tonight. Its p good. (Rfi)

      • more beer

        Nice. everything I have is a Colorado beer except the 22.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      My fridge at the moment.
      No telling what my dad will have tomorrow.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        You guys are alright

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          And you are alright as well Mr. Blackbeard sir.

          • I just saw the thing that you sent my way, thanks!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Enjoy.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Right back atcha!

      • more beer

        Nice dude. Breckenridge just got bought by Inbev. Another brewery fucked. Avery brews some great beer.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

          • more beer

            Yea it fucking sucks.

    • Abe-y Metal

      Dude, I’ve been drunk and high as balls over the last day. 3 Long Island Iced Teas in a can, and 36 Schlitz., and some herb ;-p

      • more beer

        I have had to work which involves a lot of driving. Now I am off and shall be drunk for days.

        • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer

            Cheers!

          • Abe-y Metal

            What’s your plans for the Christmas weekend?

          • more beer

            Drink and smoke a lot. I have to go home for a little while on Christmas. But after that just partying. You?

          • Abe-y Metal

            Lol same here and dealing with my ding dong roomie while my roomie/landlord is gone. She’s already starting shit.

          • more beer

            I’m at my friends place only their dogs to deal with. But they are good for me. I’ve done this for them a bunch of times. Plus they left me a ton of food,beer,and weed. So it is pretty cool.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I normally take care of my neighbor’s cats over the holidays, but it looks like he is sick this year.

          • more beer

            That sucks. They hook me up for doing it. Plus I have their apartment for 2 weeks.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Gah, I got left with a lardass roomie who doesn’t wanna do shit besides smoke up and bang her gal. I made it clear to give me my space and clean her own shit for once.

          • more beer

            That sucks. I wouldn’t clean up after any adult.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Trust me, you wouldn’t like it when I lay down the law. I’m Southside Chicago, and I lay it down raw. I try to keep from doing that, but if need be………….

          • more beer

            Do you think my New York ass lays it down any less brutally?

          • Honkey’s Xmas On The Top Bunk

            Lol, my roomie is from Queens, and you know she lays down the law!

          • more beer

            That’s how New Yorker’s roll.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I do it grudgingly for Mom, but she’s disabled and my responsibility.

          • more beer

            That is different than a fat lazy roommate.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Oh yeah, fuck that crap all to Hell. Make them move to the dumpster since they are clearly comfortable living in one.

          • more beer

            Exactly.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Schlitz!! Ha! Barkeep, nothing but your finest PBR and Black Label! And make it snappy! I’m a heavy tipper!!

        • more beer

          Hahaha! Do they even make Black Label anymore. We used to get that for 6 bucks a case when I was in high school.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Haven’t had that since the late 80s when I used to have D&D Sundays with friends. We needed lots of beer cheap.

          • more beer

            That was as cheap as it got. I drank my fair share of them when I was a kid.

        • Abe-y Metal

          Haha, indeed! Barkeep, get my friend KJM your finest pitcher of PBR!

          BTW, http://www.drunkard.com/

        • Óðinn
  • Guppusmaximus
  • Óðinn

    “My eyes are blind but I can see
    The snowflakes glisten on the trees”

    Merry Christmas from Ozzy Osbourne!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hRDIwfCePvc/TQzHqsClCeI/AAAAAAAAC5Y/MWCtismGkhQ/s320/Ozzy+-+Natal.jpg

    • Abe-y Metal

      Only if Sharon gives him permission.

      • more beer

        She always gives him permission to look silly.

        • Óðinn

          Good publicity opportunity.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Give him cred, he seemed like he magically grew his balls back on BS’ last CD.

          • more beer

            It was good it wasn’t classic. But it was better than a lot of his solo output.

          • Abe-y Metal

            I honestly can’t stand Ozzy’s vocals to begin with.

          • more beer

            I love Black Sabbath.

          • Abe-y Metal

            I do too, but Dio was the real deal for Sabbath.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Dio is a better singer, but Sabbath was better with Ozzy.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Always. There are no better Metal albums than the first 4 Sabbath albums.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Truer words have not been spoken.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Jamming this at work right now.

            https://youtu.be/Jzem_-At6F4

          • more beer

            Yes this is the correct answer.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I’m glad we can all agree. And by all I mean KJM, you and myself. And that’s awesome.

          • more beer

            Yes KJU is the one hold out.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Weeb. Total weeb. : )

          • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer

            It’s Ozzy does he really need publicity. I think everyone on earth knows who he is.

          • Abe-y Metal

            DT’s and decades worth of drugs will do that to you. He’s an automaton at this point, and has been for a while.

          • more beer

            I know. But just the same everyone knows who he is. No need for her to embarrass him.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Those Gucci bags don’t buy themselves! She single handedly killed Ozzfest with the whole Iron Maiden fiasco, so she’s gotta make up for it somehow. Bruce isn’t someone you wanna piss off!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU_2VrmPwH4

          • more beer

            She makes money. She is on whatever that talk show full of chicken heads is.

          • Abe-y Metal

            LMAO!!!!! The View, which is yeah, ugly chicks yacking on about how bad celebs are doing, before they toss their salad when they have them on.

          • more beer

            No it is the bootleg version of the view.

          • Abe-y Metal

            GAH!!!!!!!!!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Bruce putting it down in good old fashioned British working class style.

          • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

            The best British snark since Vivian from the Young Ones!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Lmao yeah. Been a while since I watched that series. Thanks for reminding me.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            With respect, I saw that tour. As much as I love Maiden, Bruce was being a dick from the first night(Boston was the second). he was slagging the tour from day one. There are no right or wrong parties wheer Ozzfest 2005 is concerned.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Unpopular opinion: my favorite Ramones album is Acid Eaters because they do great covers. This album was no exception.

  • Abe-y Metal
  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • Charli Sheen Dead Hamster Poop

    Have a safe and merry Christmas, everyone!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMjANHWGRkQ

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      You too!!

    • Guppusmaximus

      m/ Happy Holidays m/

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    In addition to Christmas Eve, it’s Lemmy’s birthday today! Honestly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Here he is offering “Peace Between worlds”

    • Christmas On The Top Bunk

      You met Lemmy?!?!?

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        There was an in-store at a record store in Watertown, MA back in 1987 during the Orgasmatron tour cycle. The band signed my vest, and me plus a couple people just hung out afterwards and shot the shit.
        The next night at the show, my friend played him at Video Pinball and beat him 2 games straight. I just hung out and made I think he liked that my friend didn’t go easy on him just because he was Lemmy. Fun stuff.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          That is amazing! Super cool.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I think he also enjoyed that we didn’t really act like fawning idiots asking a bunch of damned fool questions. We paid our respects to be sure, but we also just acted like we normally would at a show.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Hell yeah. I’ve met a few “famous people” and as long as you treat them like the human beings they are, they’re usually pretty cool.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I briefly met Stephen King too. He actually came into the record store I worked at, also around 1987-88. I wasn’t nearly as good at maintaining my composure then. Fortunately, he is also the nicest guy with a pleasant attitude about everything that he didn’t care. I shook his hand and thanked him for all the great books/movies.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Ha, that would be pretty cool.

            There are a few people that i would probably get a little giddy around as well. I wouldn’t know what to say if i did meet them, but I always plan on a handshake and a thank you if it ever happens.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m surprised I managed to keep myself together when I met Rosalie from Purson at the Ghost concert back in September. That’s a double whammy: respected artist who’s also way hot.

        • Honkey’s Xmas On The Top Bunk

          They signed your vest?!!? You, sir, are a god amongst apes.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Just call me King Gorilla!!

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU BASTARDS

    IM OFFICIALLY IN GET SCHWIFTY MODE AFTER MY WORKOUT

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I am schwifty as a motherfucker right now, bro.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        Gettin that early start? I had to wake up my normal time and go to work for no reason at all. I may just forego working out today and start gettin schwifty myself

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I have nothing work related to do today. Most of the food shopping was done yesterday. I have no major travel or gift buying to do. I have to go buy soda later. That’s it. Might as well get schwifty.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I got a roast to cook before my buddy comes over and KT has to work tonight, so i might as well start too

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I have to defrost tomorrow’s chicken. That’s pretty much the extent of the prep work.

        • more beer

          I have a couple of errands to run then I shall commence drunkenness.

  • Guppusmaximus

    So, I’m at work supporting a skeleton crew (IT) and I had an interesting read on Atrophy’s FB page. In short, the remaining guys who reformed this year are having a hard time finding the right person at Roadrunner Records (or WMG at this point) to buy back the music publishing rights to their discography. I don’t have a clue as to how I can help. Someone already mentioned a Kickstarter page to raise some funds and to try and petition WMG. But, I figured the Metal community could pass the word around. Plus, they are releasing some demos on Vinyl next October – http://www.flogarecords.com/store/index.php?main_page=advanced_search_result&search_in_description=1&keyword=fl126

  • Goddammit. Why is there no commenters goin’ on about “Stupid excuse for a publication, you don’t even know how to spell Megadeth!” that I can fuck with? Stupid, peaceful Christmas spirit…