Five Metal Moments that were Bad and Not Good

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All real metal heads agree that these METAL moments were totally NOT metal, which is to say not good!

Being a METALHEAD is totally bitchin’! There’s nothing more fun than HEADBANDGING and listening to THE SLAAAAYER. Heavy Metal music is the best music. Pop and Rap are not good music. But sometimes bad things happen with the good music and we have to think about those bad things with Internet listicles. Here are five things that are bad and not good!

Cliff Burton’s Death was Sad

Cliff Burton Gif
Regardless of where you stand on the issue, I think we can all agree that death is sad when it happens to someone you like. Maybe we’re holding on to hazy nostalgia for childhood heroes and disillusionment with aging and changes in the music we grew up listening to, but Lars should have died instead and then literally everyone on Earth would be happy.

Limp Bizkit is Not a Good Band

Limp Bizkit Gif
These guys, am I right? Just where do they get off, releasing the music with the rap and the rock? The nerve of it all! Why, I have half a mind to write one-hundred-and-eighty-one blog posts about how much I do not enjoy their antics!

RIP Dime

Dimebag Gif
Sometimes you have to get your pulled pork and black mouth smile, and put on some power metal to really remember the Diamond Man.

It Sucks that Randy Blythe Killed a Guy

Randy Blythe Gif
Sometimes death is not as sad? In a way, it’s just confusing, like when a guy you like kills a guy you don’t know and everyone thinks about it a little bit but then it’s OK in the end because the guy you like gets out of prison and writes a book and everyone is happy again. In a way, it’s kind of an inspirational story. And he wrote a book! He is very good at writering.

The Osbournes, amirite you guys?

The Osbournes Gif
The Ozzman is a metal legend. Why do we care about his family? Why are there cameras capturing Ozzy struggling with basic cognitive function? Why do they call it “Reality Television”? It is the year 2001 and this is a phenomenon that is terrible!

In conclusion, I have written about five moments in metal that were bad and not good. If you liked this post, be sure to subscribe to the MetalSucks newsletter!

(Images Via, Via, Via, Via, Via)

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  • CyberneticOrganism

    RIP Cliff Osbourne

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      RIP Ronnie James Dido

      • CyberneticOrganism

        RIP Tim Lambjesus

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          RIP Porpoisegrinder.

  • RustyShackleford
  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    No mention of Sunbather? I am disappoint

  • CyberneticOrganism

    SUPERBURN

    • Good work on screen capturing bro.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        SnagIt is being a cock

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Stupid fucking drunk Hetfield.

  • Max

    What about Jeff Hanneman dying? THAT was bad. What about Celtic Frost doing Cold Lake? THAT was bad…at the time (now it’s an interesting talking point). What about the emergence of metalcore? THAT was bad. What about Glenn Fricker taking up a career as a YouTube guy? THAT was frickin’ bad.

    • Glenn Fricker: The loudest, yet most inconsequential person on the Internet.

      • Max

        It didn’t take long for his schtick to get annoying, did it?

        • Couple of weeks ago Ol’ Glenn stripped a video of his ace production work from the Internet before I could rip it to shreds. The only thing worse than a hack is a loud hack.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Here’s one he worked on; skip to 0:54 to be blown away by all those killer guitar tones he rants about.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRG5_HUnaak

          • Good fucking lord.

          • those vocals just punched my ears in the dick

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Your ears have… nevermind.

          • Waynecro

            My girlfriend just dickpunched my heart. Dicks are everywhere, bruh.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Things have gotten worse between you and your ex? Shit, I’m sorry.

          • Waynecro

            Thanks, man.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You’re welcome. I know how you feel.

          • Waynecro

            Woman, man. Amirite?

          • Vocals sound like half of Michael Jackson with zero prospects.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Nice. That sounds like a J-Roc insult.

          • 3leggedDog

            this is god awful

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            “Seven Thrones is a philosophical movement that combines the best from music to theatrical entertainment to open the minds of listeners to a better understanding of the world.”

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Sure thing, kid. Whatever you say.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Don’t burn the messenger I’m just reposting pretentious band camp profiles

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Oh I know, that’s what I imagine the singer’s uncle would say around Xmas when the conversation tragically turns to Seven Thrones

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            “What’s that band you’re playing in, Billy?”
            “Well, they’re a new paradigm in philosophical music.”
            “Oh. By the way, I never loved you and your dad’s not your real dad.”

          • CyberneticOrganism

            “I always knew you were a weiner, Billy.”
            *tousles hair*

          • Old Man Doom

            I was able to rip into him before it taken down. The performances in the song were fuckin terrible. Not to mention that it was a cover of an anime theme song with a female singer who basically just wore lingerie in the studio. Clickbait and a hack job.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        He’s selling “STOP CUPPING THE MIC, ASSHOLE” tshirts now. Have fun wearing that anywhere on the planet.

        • Old Man Doom

          Have you seen his “your bass player is a cunt” shirts? 2edgy

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Totally. The edge, it cuts so deep.

        • Phoenix of the House Tendies

          I hope people do start wearing those shirts. Then I’ll know immediately who to target with my semi automatic rifle.

        • Max

          I know a person who’s planning on buying one. This isn’t a person whose opinion I value about anything much.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            You are wise, Usul.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        AHEM!!!!!!

      • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

        Who? Am I missing anything of value?

        • more beer

          Not only no but fuck no!

        • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

          You missed my heel turn. I am now aligned with the Durst World Order.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Glenn Fricker being the self-appointed spokesperson of metal is the greatest atrocity this genre has ever faced.

      • Maik Beninton™

        I only watched his first videos when he was doing tutorials on recording, after that I only watched a review of a guitar, but I completely ignored his ‘metal news’ videos when it came up. Only saw the first that was published on MS and that was cringeworthy.

        • I think that’s the only one I saw and he sounded like a condecending prick.

          • Max

            Whatever the soundness of his advice, I honestly don’t know how anybody could have a positive opinion of the guy after watching, say, a dozen of his videos in a row.

          • I can’t say I envy anybody who has sat through more than one of his stupid tirades.

      • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

        Who?

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Thats what i said, i had to go look it up.

          My life <<<<

      • more beer

        He is a huge embarrassment to old metal heads everywhere.

      • Phoenix of the House Tendies

        Ugh. How the fuck does anyone consider that guy funny or entertaining in anyway? At least Axl and Vince have a fanbase. Granted a fanbase of douche lords (except McNulty. Luv u bae.), but a fanbase. I don’t think I know ANYONE who likes Glenn’s loud incoherent rambling.

      • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

        I forgot which one is Glenn Fricker?

    • I can’t hear you Max!!! Talk louder!

      I’m flushing this Glenn Fricker guy down the Toilet ov the Deepest Hell and the fucker clogged it!

      JOE! PASS ME THE DRAIN OPENER, PLEASE! JOOEEE?!

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      What about when the singer for Taake’s wiener fell out during a concert. #TinyBlackMetalDingDongsNeverForget

  • Ayy?

  • HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA FUCKING LMAO THIS MADE MY DAY.

  • Full disclosure: I was in a really bad mood this morning when I shit this one out.

    • Well, this made my afternoon!

    • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

      That M$ jab made me huehuekek

    • Thanks Obama!

      Emperor Rhombus – Owned!

      This was great & made my night Joe – but I’d say the whole POD/Katy Perry thing still might be simmerin’ too.

      I’d like a whole day on the toilet where every MS story is satirized as wonderfully as this one was.

  • Monkey D. Luffy, Pirate King

    I expected the continued existence of Bring Me The Horizon to be here. You disappoint me Joe.

    • I’ve never heard a BMtH song in my life. I am Old.

      • No, you just have better taste.

      • Maik Beninton™

        You’ve heard if you heard Linkin Park.

        • Monkey D. Luffy, Pirate King

          Their cover of Faint was good…. oh that joke has been made already, I forgot.

      • Monkey D. Luffy, Pirate King

        Yes, and I’ve come to accept that.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        OR WISE!!!!

  • Maik Beninton™

    You talk shit on rap music?
    Get the fuck outta here boy!
    http://assets.naointendo.com.br/uploads/post-assets/3604/Andre_ssj.gif

  • Thanks for making me click on Metalapesta, Joe.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76wfaYQjtK8

  • This right here is a fine way to close out the day.

  • Got 181 problems and Limp Bizkit is all of them.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    RIP Cory Wells of Three Dog Night. I’m gonna go cry now.

  • J.R.™

    Was hoping that newsletter link went to a picture of rancid booty

    • *smoke and shit*

      *deep voice* Did you summoned me?

      *more smoke and shit*

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    This is some Buttzfeed.

  • 6. FREE TIM LAMBESIS!!!

    • Dagon

      FREE WEEZY

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        FREE GORAK

        • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

          🙁 GORAK HUNT DINO!!!

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      Free Spartacus!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      FREE BEER

      • more beer

        I can not up vote this enough.

    • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

      It ain’t easy being Tim Lambeezy.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Dead making it so, and various extracurricular activities of his fellow scenesters. So much horrifying and quite a bit of sad.

  • Waynecro

    Glorious, Joe. Simply glorious. This awesome bit of writering has improved my day substantially.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    You know something Joesephariah, I think YOU’RE all about the he said she said bullshit!

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Just give him something to break!

      • I’m But A Knave Too…

        How bout your fuckin’ face!

    • As I mentioned elsewhere downthread, IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYZ

  • Dagon

    SHOTS FIRED

    PLO PLO PLO

    *horns*

    • Waynecro
      • BEARD-SPLITTER
      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Dis okay

      • Dagon

        What about my temple though?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bFskliFllk

        • Waynecro

          If you don’t already have a temple in Las Vegas, you should look into it. I can see the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet now. You can’t put a price on a good theme.

          • Dagon

            Having been to Vegas 3 or 4 times already, I can say that I’d be extremely down to have a temple over there. Lots of people of faith in that city.

          • Waynecro

            Plus, no one expects to see a temple to Dagon in the desert.

          • Dagon

            True. Not a lot of competition with other water deities. Can you picture the Ancient One pool theme? Nice.

          • Waynecro

            Yes! And all-you-can-eat shrimp, crab legs, and assorted writhing slime-oozing tentacles.

          • Dagon

            I can taste it…

          • Waynecro

            I hate seafood, but I love a good themed hotel.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            You eat your own ocean creatures? You monster!

            http://www.toonpool.com/user/1391/files/cannibal_723725.jpg

          • I have a bunch of crazy stories about my travels in Vegas.

          • Dagon

            Vegas stories are the best stories. I’m all ears and eyes whenever you feel like telling.

          • Remind me next time on G+

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Even if they’re eating your fishy brothers and sisters. #CaviarIsMurder

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

    Awwwwwwwwww, The Osbournes. Nothing like watching Ozzy’s Leaving Las Vegas-esque DTs every episode.

  • tigeraid
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    This made me nyuk nyuk nyuk.

  • this made me lol out loud

  • FRED DURST

    WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF POSER SAYS FRUD DERSTS HEART AND SOUL IS NOT GOOD! CLEARLY SOME POSER WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHAT TRU METAL IS! IF FRUD DERST WAS GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP ANYTHING FRUD DERST WOULD GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP SOME POSER FROM WRITING THIS ARTICLE! FRUD DERST IS TRU METAL!

    FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

    • CyberneticOrganism

      RIP Frud Duerst

      • FRED DURST

        FRUD DERST CANNOT DIE! ESPECIALLY AT THE HANDS OF A POSER! THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN KILL TRU METAL GOD FRUD DERST IS FRUD DERST! FRUD DERST MUST NOW GO OUT AND MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE IS NAMED FRUD DERST AS THEY ARE CLEARLY A POSER AND NOT THE TRU FRUD DERST!

        FRUD “NOT A POSER ALSO THE TRU FRUD DERST” DERST

        • I’m But A Knave Too…
          • more beer

            Especially these 2.

          • FRED DURST

            EVERYBODY SUCKS BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS FALLEN INTO THE GRASP OF POSERDOM RATHER THAN LISTENING TO TRU METAL! FRUD DERST KNOWS THAT POSERS LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND BUT FRUD DERST IS WILLING TO FORGIVE IF YOU PRE ORDER HIS NEW ALBUM! FRUD DERST IS IN A FORGIVING MOOD TODAY SO DONT BE A POSER!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • more beer

            First of all stop yelling. Second of all your band sucked in 1999 and that hasn`t changed.

          • FRED DURST

            FRUD DERST IS NOT YELLING! FRUD DERST IS ONLY TELLING THE WORLD HOW BEING A POSER IS BAD AND TRU METAL IS GOOD. 1999 WAS A HARD TIME FOR EVERYONE AS WELL BETWEEN Y2K POSERS RUNNING THE MUSIC INDUSTRY AND THE DECLINE OF THE WWF FRUD DERST HAD LOST HIS WAY. TRU METAL SAVED FRUD DERST AND FRUD DERST WILL ALWAYS BE THANKFUL.

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • WOAH.

          • more beer

            This guy makes me miss M Shadows.

          • FRED DURST

            M SHADOWS WAS ONCE DEEP IN DOWN THE PATH OF POSERDOM BUT HAS SINCE COME TO HIS SENSES AND LEARNED FROM FRUD DERST! HE IS RECUPERATING WELL AND FRUD DERST HOPES YOU ARE NOT INSULTING HIM!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Amen.

          • I’m But A Knave Too…

            Apologize for what you did to The Undertaker you jerk

          • FRED DURST

            THE UNDERTAKER IS A POSER. HE COULDNT EVEN DEFEAT BROCK LESNAR! FRUD DERST COULD BEAT BROCK LESNAR! FRUD DERST ALREADY BEAT BROCK LESNAR! FRUD DERST WILL FORGIVE NO SUCH “WRONGDOINGS” AS UNDERTAKER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND TRU METAL!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            You brought Lesnar to Suplex City?

          • FRED DURST

            LESNAR WOULDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT SUPLEX CITY IS IF IT WASNT FOR FRUD DERST. THATS HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING POSER BROCK LESNAR IS. NOW YOU CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH OF A POSER FRUD DERST EXPOSED THE UNDERTAKER TO BE.

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            You’re the best.

          • more beer

            Napoleon syndrome much?

          • FRED DURST

            NAPOLEON ONCE HAD FRUD DERST SYNDROME!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • more beer

            Same thing.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            When you’re DWO your DWO 4 life!

          • I’m But A Knave Too…

            “I did it all for the nookie.” – Napoléon Bonaparte

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            Fred Durst did the best cover of Behind Blue Eyes. No other cover equals its raw emotion. It’s still miles behind the version by The Who though.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Stop huffing paint plz.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            What did you expect? I’m part of the Durst World Order now.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Durst is the Wurst.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            You’re not down with the DWO are you?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            They are NOT taking over.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            Noooooooooo! He lied to me!

          • more beer

            Listen to the milkshake he has wisdom you can`t even grasp.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I have technology beyond my comprehension.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Ok. This is even sadder than when I was used by that person on Tinder.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I assure you, nothing is sadder than Tinder.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It is sad. I don’t know why I keep going back.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m just talking shit anyway. I’m so antisocial it isn’t even funny.

          • Based Potoo

            Being antisocial is super fun, fude.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I know why. The promise of vadge. That’s why

          • more beer

            Also all the mental health issues of woman you meet sight unseen.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            This is why I go out and meet woman.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            For………………. the nookie?

          • more beer

            I have a friend who does nothing but complain about women he meets on there. I keep telling him go out and meet woman the old fashioned way in person. You can at least get a clue to their insanity that way.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            What’s a Tinder? The stuff you throw in a fireplace?

          • i bet it was Pingu with a wig.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No it wasnt.

          • Based Potoo

            Would I try to fool JJD? Yes. Would I got to tinder and wear a wig to do that? Fuck no!

          • would you have done it for the nookie?

          • Based Potoo

            That’s McNasty

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            They’re conquering your local Hooters and BDubs, one 86’d at a time.

          • Fred Wurst (i miss him…)

          • I’m But A Knave Too…

            Nothing says raw emotion quite like the MS Word Text-To-Speech thing spelling Limp…

          • more beer

            Between the name change and his comments to this guy. He is huffing the gold spray paint. Huffers say it`s the color that gets them the most fucked up.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            My lord and savior Fred Durst lied to me. He said the DWO was taking over.

          • more beer

            Another false god.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            Why do all the gods I worship fail me?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Gods must prove they are worthy of worship by providing free stuff.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            My church doesn’t give away free stuff.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Then your God is lame and will be defeated by their enemies.

          • more beer

            What do you belong to one of those crazy churches? That everyone is swinging around Rattlesnakes and speaking gibberish.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Eh, not every religious person is bad. My neighbors are Muslim, and from Afghanistan. Helped me and the other roomies out a bunch of times, no burkas, or any of that. The average religious person couldn’t care less what your belief is. How religion is still so big in this day and age is beyond me, but the majority treat me fine.

          • more beer

            I didn`t say they were all bad. Read JJD`s comments about worshiping the DWO. I was just giving him shit.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Haha, I know. There’s times I break down, need salvation, and pray to Duff Man.

          • more beer

            I prefer craft beer man myself but same results.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            More than sure they have food pantries (you mentioned before that you’re Catholic, so guessing you go to church).

          • more beer

            They only take collections for themselves. My family attempted to raise me Catholic. I saw through the BS from a young age.. Here is proof. In the winter time it was so cold in the church you could see your breath. Every week they would say we need to take a second collection to pay for the heating bill. Everyone in the church would ante up more cash. So now you would think next week I won`t be freezing my balls off. Next week would come it would still be freezing in the church. Those fuckers were just pocketing the money and not paying the heating bill.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            I think my first step was outsmarting my Bible teachers who’d come over to teach me about it. An 8 year old constantly asking them things they simply had no real answer for. Especially when I asked how things like vampires, ogres, etc. can’t be real, but how a being with no beginning and no end can be real. I think that was the start of my transition to becoming an atheist at 12 years old.

          • more beer

            They didn`t have an answer then they don`t have one now. I always found it to be an irrational way of thinking. Plus I was freezing my balls off. Who wants to do that?

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            He can have that shit.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Now I’m wondering how hard it’d be for Mr. Freeze to get a boner. “I was in the pool!”

            https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Br46OXqCAAAyH6n.jpg

          • Based Potoo

            You know, the church is against Jesus.

          • more beer

            And beer and weed!

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            My lord and savior, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pesto Be Upon Him) has beer volcanoes.

            http://www.gameology.org/files/images/fsm4.png

          • more beer

            That really is heaven.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Also, as The Doctor pointed out on last week’s episode, the biggest truth about Gods is that they never show up.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Because you fail them

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • Guacamole Jim
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yes. I believe I first heard that on an episode of ‘COPS’.

          • more beer

            Same here.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            I have now. This guys life is fucked.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            At least he became a celebrity on Fark and Smoking Gun in the meantime. Aim for the top, kids!

          • more beer

            Laughingstock and celebrity are 2 different things.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Same thing in the reality TV world.

          • more beer

            True.

          • ah, the inspiration for the Mad Max Fury Road War Boys

          • I’m But A Knave Too…

            You’re hurting my brain…

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            I’m thinking Dunning Kruger Effect.

          • more beer

            I`m thinking both.A person having multiple mental issues is not uncommon.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Thankfully I just have one (ADD, which I’ve learned to control on my own to some extent).

          • more beer

            On your own are the key words there. Handling you issue like a man.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            I’m thankful to have it, actually. It’s definitely a building block in my character and makes me really good at multitasking. Plus, the meds I got put on as a kid did far more damage than good. Nowadays, it pretty much means I have a hyperactive mind with a low threshold for boredom.

          • more beer

            Of course all of these meds are damaging. When I was growing up they weren`t so prevalent. They are a big scam to keep big pharmaceutical companies rolling in the cash.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Yep, and they are notorious for paying docs under the table. They’re worse than any hardcore drug dealer out there.

          • more beer

            Street drug dealers are giving people what they want for the most part. These companies are not.

          • i sure wish i knew one of those doctors now. need moar drugs.

          • more beer

            He is to busy mating with Jon Davis.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            And what he did to Ministry’s ‘Thieves’. I hope Al stabs Fred in the neck with one of his empty syringes for that one!

          • easy now, Three Dollar Bill Y’all wasn’t that bad

          • more beer

            Not a chance they straight up sucked. Keep in mind my age. They were never some gateway band for me. They were just some crap marketed to kids and pushed by MTV.

          • I’m But A Knave Too…
          • more beer

            Foreplay.

          • FRED DURST

            FRUD DERST DOES NOT SEXUALLY INTERACT WITH THOSE FRUD DERST MAKES/MADE TRU METAL WITH! TO SUGGEST THAT HE DOES IS BEING A POSER FRUD DERST WAS TRYING TO SHOW HIM HOW TO NOT BE A POSER BUT THAT FUCKER ENDED UP BEING A POSER ANYWAYS! SOME POSERS NOT EVEN FRUD DERST CAN FIX! YOU CAN RECLAIM TRU METAL BY PRE ORDERING FRUD DERSTS NEWEST ALBUM!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’ll preorder it.

          • FRED DURST

            FRUD DERST APPROVES OF YOUR DECISION TO EMBRACE TRU METAL. FRUD DERST DOES NOT DISAPPOINT

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I hope it’s good.

          • more beer

            Good and this clowns record should never be in the same sentence.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I did like their cover of Faith. George Michael’s reaction was hilarious.

          • more beer

            That does not make it good.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            Well, they don’t call me the Icon Of Posers for nothing.

          • more beer

            Yea I know. But I thought maybe there was still some hope for you.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            There was hope once. Until this new account came along I was lost. Now I have found salvation.

          • more beer

            You must repent to the void.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            The Void bows down to me, the God of Posers!

          • more beer

            You tell that to KSOFM.

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            I will.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • FRED DURST

            GEORGE MICHAEL IS A POSER AND DOESNT UNDERSTAND TRU METAL. FRUD DERST COVERED FAITH TO SHOW HIM WHAT TRU METAL IS. INSTEAD FRUD DERST GOT A FACEFULL OF POSER! DONT LET YOURSELF GET A FACEFUL OF POSER. FRUD DERST IS ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP.

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            What other advice do you have for those who want to be tru?

          • FRED DURST

            Eat a healthy breakfast everyday! Also try to excersise for at least 30 minutes a day!

            THEN AFTERWARDS SMOKE THE SHIT OUT OF A WHOLE PACK OF CIGS AND DRINK A WHOLE 36 PACK BECAUSE IF YOU DONT YOURE A POSER WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT TRU METAL NEEDS HEAPING DOSES OF GOOD AND BAD. FUCK POSERS!

            FRUD “THE HEALTHY BUT NOT SO HEALTHY NOT POSER” DERST

          • JJD, An Icon Among Posers

            I’ll take your advice. I don’t drink or smoke though. I could lose a few pounds.

          • smoking helps to lose weight
            -Pingu

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Say your prayers and take your vitamins, little Hulkomaniac.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            You got a face full of George’s cop wiener/urinal.

            http://www.newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/outside.gif

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            Oh he is.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • more beer

            You will do no such thing Janitor Jim.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Welcome to the Toilet, Kanye!

          • I’m But A Knave Too…

            And here we have the traditional mating ritual between Nu Metal Bro Gorillas.

            The Jon Davis is displaying his reflective skin to catch the eye of the Fred Durst, who in turn shows his submission to the Jon Davis’ dominance by lowering his eyes and turning his bright red cap backwards…

          • more beer

            Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • FRED DURST

            FRUD DERST HAS ALREADY EXPLAINED THE SITUATION AND FRUD DERST DOES NOT WANT TO REPEAT HIMSELF. REFRAIN FROM BEING A POSER AND PRE ORDER FRUD DERSTS NEW ALBUM.

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • more beer

            Get back to your nu metal mating ritual Jon Davis is being neglected.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I did like Limp Bizkit at one point. I lost my way though and now I’m on my way back to the path of enlightenment. Thanks Frud Derst!

          • more beer

            This is not the path to enlightenment.

          • FRED DURST

            THIS IS THE PATH OF BEING POSER FREE AND ALL SHOULD EMBRACE IT. FRUD DERST CAN HELP. FRUD DERST DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE ENEMY. FRUD DERST JUST WANTS YOU TO KNOW TRU METAL. FRUD DERST HAS A NEW ALBUM ON THE WAY. FRUD DERST SUGGESTS PREORDERING IT.

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • more beer

            I follow my own path. You are about as helpful as Dr. Phil.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Then they arm wrestle (while french kissing each other and nibbling each other’s ears).

            http://knucklesalad.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/over-the-top_4388649_GIFSoup.com-1.gif

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Davis could drown a toddler in his shiny basketball shorts right now

          • more beer

            The cum puddle between them is probably pretty deep.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            There’s a full kiddie pool just out of frame.

          • more beer

            I`m sure they will wrestle in it.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            And that’s why touring metal fests are on the downswing.

          • more beer

            No there are always ladies at shows. The no female thing is a myth. Made up by people with no social skills.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Big city shows the ratio tends to be about 60/40 guys/gals.

          • more beer

            That is not a bad ratio if you think about it. As long as you are not horribly disfigured and you have a personality. You should be able to hook up if you apply yourself. If you are socially awkward it`s a sausage fest.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            That’s how I met my ex-fiance. And seen plenty of chicks at metal and goth/industrial shows. At the goth/industrial ones, it was at least 70% women, especially when VNV Nation and Wolfsheim rolled into town. More than sure at a metalcore show, it’s probably 0.0000001% women.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Ladies attend to watch Jonathan Davis and Fred Durst wrestle in a pool of cum? I’m lost.

          • more beer

            Because what you said sounded to me like all metal fests were sausage fests, and that was the reason they were dying.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Cybernetic has now solved the Casey Anthony case.

            Too soon?

          • more beer

            And I would have thought it would have been Mcnulty.

          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot
          • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

            Technical death metal is for little girls who can’t play guitar. Fred Durst is the only technical guitarist. Watch in awe:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MI-_jWAmlE

        • CyberneticOrganism

          *shits*

      • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

        RIP Kirsten Dunst.

  • Eliza

    That was