2016’s Revenge Of The Riff


In this, the final installment of Riff ov the Week for 2016, we’re commemorating the loss of many of our favourite stars in the only way we know how – voting on which riff hits the hardest in an largely unrelated inconsequential poll!

We missed last week because Krampus threatened to devour the souls of a sect of rogue Texan capybaras living in Joe’s backyard, so naturally we all had to band together and support the resistance against the vile vagrant we all know and love. You’ll be pleased to know he only managed to accost 3 of the pack/colony/horde/retinue/what’s a group of capys called?, leaving the other 481 unharmed. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to riff and/or raff. Subsequently, the “christ” theme was thrown in the traysh (it’s ok, he ded anyway). This week we’ve decided to have our theme tie in with both the release of the latest Star Wars film and the numerous celebrity deaths that have happened throughout the year; we asked for riff submissions from songs with the word “star” in the title. Here are your choices –

Ted Nü-Djent

The last great Danzig album ever released was Danzig IV and that’s a fact, not opinion which is kind of a bummer seeing as it is now 22 years old. The next album he completely shit the bed by disposing of the original lineup and going full-on down the industrial rabbit hole. While each album since then has seen a return to Danzig’s more “classic” sound, the man has never been able to capture the essence of those first 4 albums, but anyway back to Danzig 4. Seeing as this week’s theme is a song with “star” in the title, my mind went straight to this little gem of a track with its soft verses which leads into one kick arse chorus riff which appears in 3 different periods within the song, the first being from 1:20-1:41 then 2:58-3:20 and finally 4:10-4:55. Cheers.


Opening riff and @1:14 if you like more oomph from the rest of the instruments. Some of you may know and adore Astronoid‘s 2016 release Air but nope, I’m looking at their 2013 ep The Stargazer with the song “The Stargazer” (missed the eponymoose band name so dock some points). As a post-black-gaze band who digs their ambience, it’s fitting that this song makes you feel like you’re careening through asteroid fields and jumping into hyperspace, maybe shooting other ships but that’s just extra. I put two times in because I think it’s necessary to hear a riff in as solo of a presentation as possible, so you can better appreciate it more once it melts into the sonic-scape of the song. The riff at 1:17 does just that, presenting itself in that melted atmosphere alongside the reverbed to some nerdshit planet and back vocals, acting as an ultra-melodic foundation to the vocals. Also I’m a sucker for tremolo riffs over pounding bass drums, you’re a nerd if you don’t.


Island has mellowed way out since their earthy crunchy death metal days, but Kolf & Krew are still capable of dishing out the riffs when necessary. The riff here at 0:00 is a twisty one that plays out over several measures, resolving mathily at 0:16 and beginning the cycle anew. So really this is a Voltron riff composed of multiple multicolored tiger-bot riffs. And wasn’t there some dude named Lance who was a main character but didn’t have his own tiger-bot? Yeah, he’s in there too.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-01-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Whose Riff Starred?

Next week, we’re going to be accepting riffs from a simpler time, a time when the global economy was at the mercy some arsehole banker’s fiscal ineptitude, your country was at the mercy of a man named Bush, and the silver screens were at the mercy of a spate of largely unnecessary threequels (Ocean’s Thirteen, Spideyman 3, The Bourne Ultidaemon, Shrek The Turd, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At Wit’s End). Yes, we’re talking about the infamous 2007.

-Write a short description of the 2007 riff you’ve chosen

-Include a link to stream your selection, the time-stamp for your riff, and your screen name

-Email this to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com

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