11 Songs About Farts

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Turn your farts up to 11.

So says Wikipedia:

Fart is a word in the English language most commonly used in reference to flatulence. The word “fart” is often considered unsuitable in formal situations as it may be considered vulgar or offensive. The English word fart is one of the oldest words in the English lexicon.

The vulgar and offensive rarely stops being funny, unless you’re a total Mustaine and you think you’ve transcended this world of butts and poop and farts we all live in. Protip: you haven’t.

Why fight it? Why not embrace it, like the following musicians have (to wildly varying degrees of success)? For your enjoyment, here are 11 songs created in reference to flatulence. Don’t play them all at once or we’ll have to open up the windows in here.

66Samus – Fart Metal (thrash/death metal)

This one made a trip ’round the interwebz not too long ago, but hey no harm in hearing it again since it’s easily the best-produced and most relevant to our beloved followers ov the flush. What the hell else do you have going on today? Just listen to some (ass)blastbeats. FART COUNT: A fuck ton.

Daggermouth – Fart (pop/punk)

Ever been at a party and you ripped a fart that everyone thought was fucking hilarious? Then you laughed for exactly two minutes and nine seconds? That’s this song. FART COUNT: 0 (unfortunately)

Fartbarf – Dirty Power (retro/synth electronic)

Alright so there isn’t a song specifically about farts on this album, but take another look at that album name. “Dirty Power.” That’s another name for a fart, brah. Plus the music is actually extremely not bad. FART COUNT: 0

The Ghoul Lays – Fart (pointlessness)

A bunch of guys in a room making noise, probably about farts. Buy this track for the low, low price of only $1000. Seriously. FART COUNT: a big one around 1:07

DJ Skull Vomit – F.​A​.​R​.​T. (fart requests)

This dude records farts for people. *applause* Skip to track 2 to hear them. FART COUNT: A shit ton.

Glenson Heart McBrute – (F)aRTs (experimental jam/jazz)

An unfocused, meandering jazz odyssey worthy of Spinal Tap. FART COUNT: 0

Szpajder-pajak – Fart (noise)

Nine and a half minutes of shrill white noise. Fair warning: not a single fart to be heard. FART COUNT: 0

Deus Ex Pizza – (f)ART (a guy fucking around on a keyboard)

Given the high quality of that cover art, you can probably guess this was recorded at 1AM inside a room containing hours worth of farts. This is not a side project of mine, swear to god. FART COUNT: Many (implied)

Bart’s Farts – Fart (crazy screaming punk/noise)

This one has a lot of feedback and a lot of screaming, but very little in the way of actual farts. FART COUNT: 0

Cendra – FART (blackened punk)

Filthy blackened punk noise with nary a fart to be heard, although they probably fart in the alleyway a lot after gigs. FART COUNT: 0

Laffe Mietjes – Fart (wesleywilliscore)

Oh boy…the genre name says it all here. FART COUNT: A whole bunch

__________

Share your favorite farts in the comments below. And start eating better FFS, you smell like a goddamned zoo.

(img via)

  • you speak my language CO with this talk about exhaust

    • CyberneticOrganism

      A coal roll is merely a truck farting intensely.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        A coal roll is merely a truck (with an asshole) farting intensely.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Sometimes with TWO assholes

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            yea “multiple assholes”

          • bro those crew cabs are huge. you can fit way more than two assholes

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            good call bro….

          • Óðhinn

            True.

      • agreed

        • CyberneticOrganism

          DRINK KEYSTONE
          FART #BROLO

  • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

    Good god it’s happened. The best article to ever be on toiletovhell is here.

    I don’t know what else to do other than…
    *juicy fart noise*

  • Maik Beninton
  • Guacamole Jim

    I just about cried laughing at the first song. This is glorious.

    https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0n44yHuu91r6gg9ho1_400.gif

    • This gif is glorious.

      You’re glorious.

    • Maik Beninton

      Diarrhea sounds>>>>>>>>

  • KJM
  • Stanley

    “Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe”.

    https://youtu.be/7duPNQCp-w4?t=1m43s

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • This article resumes all Toilet ov Hell’s history on covering music. We all like music that sounds like farts.

    • Maik Beninton

      No, we love music that sounds like there is someone eating kellogs.

      • We all listen music that sounds like that gas after you eat those Kellogs 😛

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Toilets. Farts. A harmony. We have come full circle. Full like a solid flushing tank. Circular like the seat upon which I doth drop off my kids at the pool. We are at the end, and the beginning. Like a toilet in a constant state of flush, as close to the draining as it is to the replenishmenting. A symphony of plumbing, a loo soliloquy.

      A solooloquy.

      Congratulations.

      • I think I saw the Nirvana, my friend. We’re trascending.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    “Smokin” tunes, Cendra & 66Samus “ripped” me a new asshole….

  • The Beargod

    I think we’ve hit a new low…

    And I like it.

    *rips a big one*

    • The Beargod

      Who’s Wes(ley Willis)?

      • CyberneticOrganism
        • Guacamole Jim

          Oh shit, I didn’t even catch WesleyWillisCore on the first go-round. Fuck this is a great article.

        • Maik Beninton

          OMG

        • The Beargod

          Good lord, I used to have one back in the day.

      • Isn’t the guy who was fan of…

        BOOOOLT TRÁGÜEEEER!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YkQXb9_gNY

        • CyberneticOrganism

          lolz, I never knew about this one

          • What’s better about this is… That the bass line is awesome!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I made a wesley willis-styled song years ago about a closet in my old apt where I kept all my guitar & music gear. It’s called Rock & Roll Closet. I’ll get it on youtube this weekend and share it.

          • Please!!! +_+)/

          • You’re a Chicago dude, right? Wasn’t that his hometown?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Yep

          • did you ever receive one of his famous heatbuttz?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I wish, I’d have been Emperor of America by now.

          • A random youtube comment:

            “firetimbuckley

            Hace 1 año

            Bolt Thrower played at Reggie’s in Chicago last night, and threw out a song to the great Wesley Willis. All class.”

          • That’s bad ass.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I am hella excited for this.

          • J.R.

            ROCK AND ROLL CUHLOSET!!! ROCK AND ROLL CUHLOSET!!!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Oh you’ve heard it

          • Would listen to/10

          • Fun Fact: I saw Mr. Willis perform once. The rock show was a jam session. Rock over London, Rock over Chicago. Wheaties – The Breakfast Of Champions.

        • The Beargod

          BOAT THROWÖ!!

          • Jajajajaja!! Everytime I see the band name I say it with the Wesley tone.

        • rawked out like a magicist!

      • He’s got one about Morbid Angel too.

  • Nice Lady: “You have a website? That’s so cool! Can I see it?”
    Joe: “….no.”

    • This really cements your cool status as President and Editor in Chief of a Cultural and Music Media company.

    • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

      She might not be able to handle all the hot action on here. If she likes this article and Satanic Necroboner, marry her PRONTO!

    • Guest

      Nice Lady: “You have a website? That’s so cool! Can I see it?”
      Joe: “Y-you too…”

      • ^^^ Stunningly accurate

        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          I’m in the same boat as you, just without the cool website…so more I’m the dinghy adjacent to your boat.

          I’m so awfully awkward and oblivious that the girl pretty much has to go “hey asshole, I like you” before I get it. I never even consider that people out there may actually think I’m likable/attractive.

          • I feel you. That’s how I spent more years than I’d care to admit.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Apparently girls don’t like hearing “Really? Why?” as a response either, haha.

          • Scrimm

            Same.

          • The Beargod

            I hate stereotypes but outta my “metalhead” friends only one isn’t/wasn’t like that. I blame their parent doe. It’s always the parents’ fault.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Nah, I had a good upbringing. While most kids blossomed socially in high school, I was busy training for/playing hockey, so it was my own decision. I don’t look like a “metalhead”, so I think it’s just the lack of self-confidence.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I had a good upbringing as well.

          • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

            Lol, same here.
            When my ex fiance and I first started dating, I didn’t even know, lol. She told me some guy had hit up on her and was wanting to take her out on a date, but she told him she had a boyfriend. I was like “you do?!” and my heart sank since I really really wanted to date her and thought someone else got her. And she told me “yeah, YOU, SILLY!”. I went to the bathroom afterwards, jumped in the air and went “YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!” to myself with my fist pumping in the air.

          • Poseur Diposeur

            Same here. Common problem among the metal-inclined I reckon

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Nice Lady: “You have a website? That’s so cool! Can I see it?”
        Joe: “You have a good one, now!” *leaves work*

      • brian regan reference

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    10/10 would buy a full album of songs like Fart Metal.

  • KJM
  • StudmanGetYourPull666_69
  • This was the third thing I searched when I discovered youtube #LinkFacts

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnH2pgtt7_I

    • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

      Priorities: that man has them!

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    Make it 12. TWELVE? TWELVE! WHOOOOA!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsYDC4WM_xQ

  • StudmanGetYourPull666_69
  • JW(E)G

    I know just enough German to know that this doesn’t actually count, but still:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIf_feMWNfI

    • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

      I looooooooooooooooooooove Equilibrium! The first two CDs are fucking amazing! New one is good too.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Saw this in Oslo.

    • Stockhausen

      I can’t find the picture, but I took one of a road sign in Bergen that said fart. I was like “Hehehe, fart. Like from a butt. Fart.”

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Hoch hech!

    • Vegglampe

      There is a running joke on a Norwegian rally driver who speaks English horribly:

  • The fart count on this one is high

    http://youtu.be/dKco_t0Nc_o

  • lolbuttz

    lolbuttz

  • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

    Can you smell-ell-ell what The Rock’s been eating?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5C_PUE6nKw

  • old_man_doom

    DIARRHEA FROM THE TAINT
    CHAOS
    YOU WILL ROT

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kjg4rCGR3c&spfreload=10

    Kinda sucks when the joke metal song about farts and ebola has better riffs and production than my serious songs.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      No kidding. I fail at music forever.

  • StudmanGetYourPull666_69
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Sit tighter, people. Stay professional.

  • INDUBITABEARD

    Everyone here is into fart porn.

  • StudmanGetYourPull666_69

    More fine fart moments in fine cinema!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cQ7JF9wXPA

    • CyberneticOrganism

      No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxRX6LXDpWs

  • KJM

    Soooo, how about that High On Fire tour?! August 17 in Boston!

  • CONANtheDjentlyFuckingKING

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3B15wjo6bU …………….Bane sings eddie moneys shakin’ with the bane voice.

  • Guppusmaximus

    It’s got no flatulence but this classic & priceless comedy inspired me to go down the rabbit hole of Youtube…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRGOFefxMGU

  • :)

    *flushes toilet* 🙂

  • whoa, FFB linked to this article!!

  • Donald Gibb’s sad career

    No one posted the king?

  • Guilhermino Martins