11 Songs About Farts
Turn your farts up to 11.
So says Wikipedia:
Fart is a word in the English language most commonly used in reference to flatulence. The word “fart” is often considered unsuitable in formal situations as it may be considered vulgar or offensive. The English word fart is one of the oldest words in the English lexicon.
The vulgar and offensive rarely stops being funny, unless you’re a total Mustaine and you think you’ve transcended this world of butts and poop and farts we all live in. Protip: you haven’t.
Why fight it? Why not embrace it, like the following musicians have (to wildly varying degrees of success)? For your enjoyment, here are 11 songs created in reference to flatulence. Don’t play them all at once or we’ll have to open up the windows in here.
66Samus – Fart Metal (thrash/death metal)
This one made a trip ’round the interwebz not too long ago, but hey no harm in hearing it again since it’s easily the best-produced and most relevant to our beloved followers ov the flush. What the hell else do you have going on today? Just listen to some (ass)blastbeats. FART COUNT: A fuck ton.
Daggermouth – Fart (pop/punk)
Ever been at a party and you ripped a fart that everyone thought was fucking hilarious? Then you laughed for exactly two minutes and nine seconds? That’s this song. FART COUNT: 0 (unfortunately)
Fartbarf – Dirty Power (retro/synth electronic)
Alright so there isn’t a song specifically about farts on this album, but take another look at that album name. “Dirty Power.” That’s another name for a fart, brah. Plus the music is actually extremely not bad. FART COUNT: 0
The Ghoul Lays – Fart (pointlessness)
A bunch of guys in a room making noise, probably about farts. Buy this track for the low, low price of only $1000. Seriously. FART COUNT: a big one around 1:07
DJ Skull Vomit – F.A.R.T. (fart requests)
This dude records farts for people. *applause* Skip to track 2 to hear them. FART COUNT: A shit ton.
Glenson Heart McBrute – (F)aRTs (experimental jam/jazz)
An unfocused, meandering jazz odyssey worthy of Spinal Tap. FART COUNT: 0
Szpajder-pajak – Fart (noise)
Nine and a half minutes of shrill white noise. Fair warning: not a single fart to be heard. FART COUNT: 0
Deus Ex Pizza – (f)ART (a guy fucking around on a keyboard)
Given the high quality of that cover art, you can probably guess this was recorded at 1AM inside a room containing hours worth of farts. This is not a side project of mine, swear to god. FART COUNT: Many (implied)
Bart’s Farts – Fart (crazy screaming punk/noise)
This one has a lot of feedback and a lot of screaming, but very little in the way of actual farts. FART COUNT: 0
Cendra – FART (blackened punk)
Filthy blackened punk noise with nary a fart to be heard, although they probably fart in the alleyway a lot after gigs. FART COUNT: 0
Laffe Mietjes – Fart (wesleywilliscore)
Oh boy…the genre name says it all here. FART COUNT: A whole bunch
Share your favorite farts in the comments below. And start eating better FFS, you smell like a goddamned zoo.