10 Xmas Songs That Don’t Make Me Want to Spit Acid In Your Face

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There has never been a GOOD Xmas* song; each is a various shade of terrible. But some Xmas songs are less terrible than others. Today, we will dive right in and talk about 10 Xmas songs that quell my desire for ingesting hydrochloric acid and emitting it into your face.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, Xmas is terrible. If you are a child or a parent, the holiday can be perfectly magical. The rest of us have to deal with hearing your obnoxious children screeching novelty versions of “Jingle Bells” for two months out of the year. Mariah Carey’s terrible Christmas record has haunted me every December for the last TWENTY YEARS. We are completely inundated by grotesque consumerism, soundtracked by migraine-inducing holiday-specific pablum. It’s enough to make a man (me) want to pick up a beaker full of acid, fill his mouth, and spew the contents directly into your face. Thankfully, there are a small handful of Xmas songs that dampen that desire.

*Why do I keep douche-illy writing out “Xmas” instead of Christmas? Because mouth-breathing idiots in America are correct, for once. There IS a war on Christmas and it is being waged by angry bloggers. Fight me, Fox & Friends.

10. GWAR – Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend

Because it was only released on European versions of Bloody Pit of Horror, “Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend” probably isn’t a song you’ll ever hear coming from the gaping maw of soulless Xmas carollers. It is unfortunate, because if a Xmas caroler attempts to croak “Deck the Halls” in my generally vicinity, I will belch acid directly into his or her face and also yours. If that Xmas caroler instead sang “Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend”, I would gently set down my beaker of acid and offer him or her eggnog from my clearly marked “NON-ACID” beaker.

9. Blink 182 – I Won’t Be Home for Christmas

Ugh. I’ll be honest, I enjoyed this one quite a bit more when I was a 15-year-old shithead, but the line “Outside the carolers start to sing/I can’t describe the joy they bring/Because joy is something they don’t bring me” is still pretty clever. If I were to hear this song at the grocery store, or a bar, or at a social event, I would not be overcome with the urge to spit acid directly into your face.

8. Ramones – Merry Christmas ( I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)

Mid-to-late-80s-era Ramones is the best era of Ramones. This is a true fact because I wrote it down and published it on the Internet. From now on, if you type “What is the best era of The Ramones?” into Google, the search engine’s text robots will crawl through this site and tell you that the mid-to-late-80s-era was the best era of Ramones. Anyway, “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)” is a perfectly OK song, and it briefly abates my desire to spit acid into your face.

7. The Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping

“Christmas Wrapping” really gets what the holiday is all about for a single, child-less adult: being consumed by worry, wanting to be left alone, and hoping you can have sex with a stranger you see at the grocery store. If you were to play this song in my presence, I would likely be too distracted by the catchy saxophone melody to even remember where I left my beaker of acid that I keep on hand specifically for spitting into your face.

6. Mele Kalikimaka – Bing Crosby

The dark is terrible. The cold is terrible. Frozen precipitation is especially terrible. It all makes me want to fill my mouth cavity with burning acid, taste my own tongue disintegrating to goo in my skull, and spray the rotten concoction of stinging chemicals and burning flesh directly into your face. Bing Crosby knew these things, so he took advantage of American fascination with Hawaiian culture and released “Mele Kalikimaka”, an Xmas song that celebrates the joy of a sunny, hellfrost-free December 25th. Crosby eschews cursed bells and glockenspeils for slack-key guitar and, thanks to Christmas Vacation, side-boob. It is an acceptable Xmas song.

5. Clarence Carter – Back Door Santa

Clarence Carter is a blind musician that has been releasing music all about fuckin’ since the 1960s. In “Back Door Santa”, Clarence Carter makes it explicitly clear that he WILL bang your mother this Xmas. For this reason, I do not feel any sharp desire to harm my own body irreparably by launching acid from my own mouth into your face.

4. Julian Casablancas & The Roots – I Wish It Was Christmas Today

https://vimeo.com/82542924

Reprising a 15-year old Saturday Night Live skit, “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” as performed by The Roots featuring The Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas, is surprisingly fun and catchy. Jimmy Fallon, a worthy acid-spitting target if there ever was one, somehow does not ruin this song.

3. Otis Redding – Merry Christmas Baby

Otis Redding died far too soon. By his death at the age of 26, he had recorded dozens of stone-cold R&B classics including “I’ve Got Dreams to Remember” and “Knock on Wood”. By sheer virtue of Being Otis Redding, “Merry Christmas Baby” belongs on any list of songs meant to pacify a clearly out of control monster with access to highly corrosive acid, your face, and an apparent lack of concern for his own well being.

2. The Kinks – Father Christmas

The most punk Xmas tune of all time was released back in 1978. The Kinks threatened to beat the shit out of a department store Santa unless he gave up the fuckin’ cash (And also a job for their father. And a machine gun). The mental image of Ray and Dave Davies pummeling a fat, white-haired impostor in the name of socioeconomic justice lessens my desire to quaff acid and allow it to tear through my jaw like a hot knife through butter, before forcefully ejecting the boiling spew from my ruined skull into your horrified face.

1. Vince Guaraldi Trio – Charlie Brown Christmas

I… I don’t know what it is about this Vince Guaraldi composition… There’s something here that… makes me… feel things. I’m overcome with emotions like “good will” and “non-desire to disfigure my own face to a fatal degree so that I may spitefully see your own face covered in corrosive chemicals before I slip from consciousness forever”. This, and other tracks the Vince Guaraldi Trio put together for 1965’s A Charlie Brown Christmas, remind me of the potential mankind has to come together, putting aside crass commercialism, to make the world a better place for everyone this Christmas. Listening to “Christmas Time is Here” has made me put down my clearly marked “ACID” beaker while I go think about things for a little while.

George Michael Charlie Brown

 

 

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  • nbm02ss

    This is the only Xmas song that’s real to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a5fHMlb4V0

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Well done, Joe. I share your stress this time of year.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzaflC73iTk

    • The list was originally 15 tracks. This one was included.

    • Hey, killer Bdubs bro article. The wife and I thoroughly lol’d over it, last night.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        THANKS BRO HAVE A BEER
        *hands you long-expired Keystone can*

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    The Kinks wins in my opinion.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      Kinks always wins

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        It sure does. Village Green is untouchable.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Also, what about Coltrane’s cover of My Favorite Things?

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • Boss the Albatross Ross

    Um, you forgot this one.

    https://youtu.be/5Zgol2NQhlM

  • The ultimate Christmas song. Actually, the ultimate song for any holiday.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHyRQOdqf0

  • Boss the Albatross Ross

    And let’s be honest. This is the ONLY good Christmas song.

    https://youtu.be/OR07r0ZMFb8

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I don’t get it. Why do you hate Christmas? I understand the music being an affront to god but the holiday isn’t about that or the presents. It’s about a savior being born. A savior of all people, believer or not.

    • dr.derelict

      Or a sloppy pastiche of more ancient, pagan traditions.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I don’t really try and think about that.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Well, ignoring it doesn’t make it any less true but whatevs.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Blessed be the void.

    • Spear

      I’ll start putting the “Christ” back in Christmas when everyone else starts putting the “Thor” back in Thursday.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        Or the Freyja back in Friday

        • Spear

          Or the Woden back in Wednesday.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Or the Iaurdag back in Saturday

    • I’ve said this many, many times because I believe it: Christmas is a holiday meant for parents and children. That’s all well and good, but I’m a child-less adult, so it’s terribly irksome to be bombarded for two months out of the year by messages of buying presents for kids and making THIS year special (by buying shit for people). The birth of Christ has nothing to do with the way xmas is celebrated in the United States (although it’s a nice justification for all the bloated commercialism).

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I do hate having to be bombarded by Christmas music. The commercialism is also a serious problem.

        • Did you buy any presents this year?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Yes.

          • You are contributing to the problem then! lol

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Damnit

          • Repent your sins and burn all purchased items. It is the only solution.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I paid a lot of money for that stuff. I’m not eating that money.

          • I didn’t tell you to eat it, I said burn it. <3

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m not doing thatm

          • You are a good team player, JJD. You take a lot of flack. I hope you do not take anything I say too seriously 🙂

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I don’t take it seriously.

          • Good 🙂

          • more beer

            Fire cures everything!

      • I always though the best part of Christmas was getting together with the entire family (the sides that are not completely dysfunctional). Hopefully you get to enjoy that part?

        • That one is a little tricky as well… In general, this isn’t an awesome time for me.

          • If it makes you feel any better… my bday is christmas day, which sounds bad ass, but I always end up feeling pretty terrible depressed by mid day. Not sure why, but it always seems pretty depressing. Imma try to stay busy this year… maybe that will help.

          • more beer

            I stay away from my family on Christmas. I talk to the people that matter and that’s it. I don’t remember a single time all of us were in one place and there wasn’t some sort of insanity.

      • time off work >>>>>>
        that’s about all i can say about this holiday

        • You should call it a vacation then!

          Seen the Star Wars movie yet?

          • yes i did. i thought it was very good, but there’s one gaping issue i had with the movie that prevented me from loving it. (yesterday i was telling a friend this and she said “is it because the one guy is black?” i erupted in a laughter that could have toppled buildings) but i can’t tell you what that issue is w/o spoiling something for many folks

          • Roger, seeing it Friday. Will report back.

          • nice!! txt me bby

          • Elizabeth Short

            Prepare to tear up a bit.

      • more beer

        It is all of these things plus. Pretty much the whole world shuts down. Fuck once I do all the getting together crap. I want to do something and there usually isn’t much to do.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      You do understand that Christmas was essentially stolen from other traditions, right?

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I’m just saying this for the sake of discussion and I’m not trying to be a jerk, but that’s a lot like Bart Simpson saying that Xmas is when people of all faiths come together to worship Jesus. It almost sounds kinda nice until you actually think about it.

  • RJA

    Mid-to-late-80s-era Ramones is the best era of Ramones.
    I would imagine this is not a popular opinion. Later Ramones is definitely overlooked though compared to the first 4 yrs. Lot of good stuff in there.
    What was the brutal death album you guys were touting earlier this year? I’m looking to listen to something different today.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      Too Tough To Die is probably my favorite Ramones album. Followed closely by Ramones and Road to Ruin.

      • RJA

        Too Tough to Die is a very nice choice. My favorite is probably Road to Ruin.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          I’m Against It!

          They’re both excellent albums, honestly it’s probably more like a 3 way tie.

      • more beer

        Road to Ruin is unfuckwithable!

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          It is a killer record. Everything about it, the songs, the production, you can’t touch it.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I prefer the 90s Ramones output. They still aren’t as good as the Clash though.

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        False.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I disagree. I love The Clash, even the Cut The Crap album.

          • RJA

            I was with you man until you mentioned Cut the Crap.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s awful but compared to a lot of shitty punk albums it’s not half bad

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I can respect your opinion, but next time please state “i think” beforehand.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I enjoy London Calling much more than Rocket To Russia.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            That’s better stated.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            My dad saw the Clash with The Who at one of the Shea Stadium shows. He said they were awesome.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I’m sure it was, that sounds excellent.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I love The Clash, but The Ramones might be The US’ best Rock band.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Next to Clutch, yes.

            Haha! Yes, I agree. As far as straight up US Rock and Roll bands that truly represented the US during their time Ramones deserve a spot in the top 5. Along with The Doors, The Beach Boys and 2 other bands I can’t figure out right now.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            The Grateful Dead & The Jimi Hendrix Experience, at least those are the 2 I’d go with.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Man, I’m dumb. Hendrix definitely deserves that list.

          • The Beach Boys are about as America as it gets. Ramones, Hendrix, Buddy Holly, and Patron Saint of All Music Dave Grohl.

          • more beer

            Punk Rock Band!

    • RJA

      was it Embodied Torment?

  • Celtic Frosty

    The Charlie Brown Christmas album is the only Christmas album I own or ever will own. I play it once every year while I’m putting up my tree, and that’s it.

    • I fucking hate Charlie Brown

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Great Pumpkin is the best TV holiday special ever.

    • Stockhausen

      I love Christmas. However, I hate that album. I like you though.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    No Austrian Death Machine?

    • Dubya tried to suggest it. He was lucky I couldn’t find my clearly-marked beaker full of acid.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
        • lol he’s in jail.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It ain’t easy being Tim Lambeezy.

          • I heard he was close to perfecting his “Prison Workout”.

          • Vault Dweller

            Step 1: Eat tuna fish from commissary.
            Step 2: Do calisthenics because most prisons have removed their weights and exercise gear
            Step 3: More tuna
            Step 4: Weep when you don’t get any mail that day.
            Step 5: Swole.

          • He’s starting a new depressive suicidal black metal band called as i lay crying

          • more beer

            So he’s sucking it!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Also, James “Rusty Venture” Urbaniak may or may not have read this article because of “Christmas Wrapping”.

      • more beer

        iframe width=”420″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/b

        • It’s not loading properly. If you want to share a youtube vid in the comments, just copy and paste the URL, don’t worry about embed code.

          • more beer

            Thanks. I thought I deleted it when that happened.

    • God ov War

      It’s turbo Time 😀

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    #4 and #1…yeaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!

  • Stockhausen

    That bass line in Christmas Wrapping is hot. I’ll be perfectly honest though, that song makes me want to do the melty spit.

  • IronLawnmower

    Why isn’t this just a list of 10 harsh noise remixes of grandma got ran over by a reindeer

    • Because that would lead me to fill my mouth cavity with burning acid, letting the stinging mixture drip through my lower jaw, before forming the last muscle movements my mouth will be capable of ever forming to release the bilious chemicals directly into your eye.

      • *stares wide eyed*

      • IronLawnmower

        Isn’t that what Christmas is really about?

        • Chirstmas is about seeing Stars Wars, eating Chinese Food, and having no ragrets about how terrible you will feel after eating processed cats/dogs.

          #Murica

      • speaking of… hey Joe, what’s that song about a grandma getting run over by a reindeer?

  • Even though I have a profound hatred for metalcore, this is actually pretty good. There’s also a part where they make fun of Disturbed. Acid would not be spit in anyone’s face over this.

    http://youtu.be/sQ-Oiet6HSM

    • It’s pretty bad man

      • If I can make it past 30 seconds without shutting it off than I consider it tolerable.

        • but what if it’s like a really long drawn out intro that fades in really slowly and then at 32 seconds in you hear ivan moody and realize it’s FFDP?

    • Holy shit, it’s Skrillex’s old band. Have not thought about these guys in a while.

    • CyberneticOrganism
    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      This is godawful

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I love this band. This is also a good Christmas song.

  • I kinda hope I am way to hung over to go to my mother-in-laws on Christmas morning.

    #chrismtasdreams

    • On christmas I’ll be stuck in an empty building at work but luckily im getting paid for being stuck in an empty building at work otherwise being stuck in an empty building at work would be absolutely pointless and i wont have to be at any silly xmas parties because ill be stuck in an empty building at work and also getting paid for being stuck in an empty building at work i can only imagine how annoying the small talk would be if i didnt have to get paid for being stuck in an empty building at work perhaps i will watch netflix while in an empty building at work and get paid for watching tv shows in an empty building at work.

  • Spear
  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I like that one song that goes “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow” I forget what it was called though.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      I think it’s Deck The Halls

  • I just started listening to Panopticon. It makes me feelz good. Get on it.

    https://thetruepanopticon.bandcamp.com/album/autumn-eternal

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Years late GL

    • Waynecro

      PANOPTICON!!!

  • JWEG

    This would be high on my list.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCJRq3Y9Seo

  • Guppusmaximus

    That “something here” (1965’s A Charlie Brown Christmas) is the bucket loads of talent that Vince & his trio had. While so many artists release their interpretation of these Christmas classics the “twist” they think they have usually just ends up being the vocal stylings (which usually isn’t anything great) whereas Guaraldi knew that what made The Peanuts soundtrack so special (Jazz w/ Cartoons)would elevate the right Christmas songs to a whole new level. I don’t think (I could be wrong) that any other Jazz master tried this before. And, let’s not forget about the stellar recording.

    It really is the only Christmas album I actively seek out this time of year.

    Speaking of Christmas… Here’s an early present for you:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfmiCtosV9w

  • Guppusmaximus
  • Eliza

    So, what do you guys want for Christmas?

    • Lacertilian

      Beer.

      • more beer

        • more beer

          You bet your ass.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Beer is truly the only answer.

          • more beer

            No greater truth has ever been spoken.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Spread the word!

          • more beer

            Beer be with you!

      • Eliza

        In my opinion, wine is more appropriate for the holidays, but beer is always good.

    • Socks.

      • Underwear, too. I love useful things.

        • Abe-y Metal

          Sounds like you’re stocking the top bunk!

        • more beer

          I got a new floor jack and jack stands from my brother. Both manly and very useful.

          • As a proud owner of a floor jack and 4 jack stands, I approve of your gift.

          • more beer

            I already had one but the hydraulics were starting to on it. A new one was in order.

      • I legit told people to get me socks.

        • You can never go wrong with socks. Ever.

          • Waynecro

            Especially diabetic socks. They’re the best thing to happen to my feet since the invention of hot-pink toenail polish!

          • more beer

            Ever always a good gift.

        • more beer

          I have done that before.

    • Olivia Wilde

      • Eliza

        Good luck with that!

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Weed

    • To never work again.

      • Eliza

        Even on Christmas, such wishes don’t come true.

    • COAL ROLL

      you, and your mom. at the same time. Thank you

      • too far.

        • COAL ROLL

          YESSSSSS a deleted comment!

          • Abe-y Metal

            Oh fuck, the Failure For Blogs invasion has begun!

          • COAL ROLL

            it was my own comment bro

    • how about you!?

      • Eliza

        Sweets!

        • Like chocolate?

          • Eliza

            Yes!

          • NICE

          • Eliza

            George Lynch is great guitarist, BTW.

          • As a grown ass man with a poster of George Lynch in my closet at home, you don’t have to tell me that. LOL

          • Eliza

            ^_^

          • Abe-y Metal
          • I think he is just saying what a lot of people are thinking about/believe in. I think there are likely a lot of people who agree with him. But, in the age of being politically correct 24/7 you will not likely find many people will to admit their true feelings. He just so happened to admit them.

          • This is a country of immigrants. Every group that comes in wants to close the borders to the next group. It’s been the same story for 100+ years and it’s still dumb.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Like the old saying goes, this was all America (as in North and South America) at one time.

          • I am not for a moment agreeing that we should close the borders. I agree, it is a stupid argument. I was just making a point that I believe the rhetoric is striking a chord with certain groups of people on both sides of the political spectrum, whether people on either side want to openly agree to it or not.

            I promise I am not trying to agree with that asshatery.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Sure, there’s lots of people that agree with him. Take a look at similar things they tend to agree on though (tagging Muslims, open carry, practically no gun laws whatsoever, making America a Christian only country, etc). Not exactly enlightened.

          • I believe his sentiments are believed on both the left and right. Not just the right.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Lol, read the article. According to Don, Islam is only 500 years old (1400 years old in actuality) and is the youngest religion on Earth. Just one of many gaffs in his interview.

          • You are missing my point.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Not at all. You’re saying there are people on the left and right who agree with his initial point. I’m saying read the interview. His sense of history and facts are waaaaaaaaaaaay off.

        • Waynecro

          I’m with you on this one. I’d kill for a Christmas cookie or a piece of Shirley Jean fruitcake.

          • Eliza

            I’ve never tasted that kind of fruitcake yet, but I like all sorts of cake, so I think I’d like that too.

          • Waynecro

            I like all sorts of cake as well! We’re cake buddies now. I haven’t had cake in months because of the harsh diet I’m on, and I miss baked goods quite a bit. Shirley Jean fruticake is just a fruitcake made by a specific bakery in Maryland, I think. I stumbled upon the fruitcake by accident in a discount store one year and have loved it ever since. According to the internet, a Shirley Jean fruitcake “has been included on every space shuttle mission over the Christmas holiday since 1994.”

          • Eliza

            It’s Christmas now, so I think you can allow yourself a little cake.

          • Waynecro

            Perhaps. Though I’ll probably just maintain this cut until I’m ready to bulk a little bit. It’s a vicious cycle.

          • Eliza

            Do your best!

          • Waynecro

            Thanks!

    • Abe-y Metal

      A T-rex with lasers, radioactive farts/vomit, and chainsaws for arms that also double as guitars.

    • killvps
      • killvps

        THANKS BOSS! Idk if you got my gift yet.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          You are very welcome, i quite like that album, good riffs. I have not.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          Holy shit! Thank you so much!

          • killvps

            NP. There is a high probability that Mgla is on everybody’s wishlist. EVERYBODY.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Haha, probably. I listened to it for a bit when all the hoopla was going about, its good. Now that i have it i can give it a better listen. Thank you again.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Thanks for the 2nd! But you weren’t supposed to get me anymore! I was making up for the excellent album you got me. I really do appreciate it though. Have a wonderful Christmas weekend.

          • killvps

            Two for two? I think we’re even. My b. :p

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Fair enough! Thank you so much.

      • Eliza

        Cool.

  • Lacertilian

    Can’t…. Resist… Primal Urge..
    Bluuuurgh

    • I bet you don’t have a bearded dragon version of this

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    No “Fairy Tale of New York”? FAIL.

    • I hate that song, man. It’s on the acid list.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Seriously? That and Spinal Tap’s ‘Christmas With The Devil’ are the only Christmas songs that don’t absolutely suck.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          And what about RUN DMC?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            They’re cool too, but those other songs are better.

          • KJM, Shake Zula
          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I do not. But it’s pretty good.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            ‘New Funky Nation’ (1990) by Boo-Yah TRIBE is the best Hip Hop album that almost no one knows about. Most people who know them only know the track they did with Faith No More from the ‘Judgment Night’ soundtrack.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I will definitely be checking them out. Thank you for the tip!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Also, Xmas is actually proper nomenclature since X was shorthand for Jesus in the post-crucifixion days.

        • For some reason, the “Keep Christ in Christmas” crowd missed that memo. Probably because they’re busy fighting a non-existent threat to sanctity of their precious shopping holiday. BUT I DIGRESS.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Oh, and ‘Red Water’ by Type O Negative, can’t believe I almost forgot that one.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    GOD REST YE FROSBITTEN FUCKS
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jyNYX8974E

  • BobLoblaw
  • Abe-y Metal

    I prefer this mangled classic from last year:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74r90yAVgS8

  • Abe-y Metal
  • Guppusmaximus
  • God ov War
  • Waynecro

    Bah! Humbug!

  • Óðinn